1. If dirty blond, hot and ripped UVA guy keeps going to the gym at 10, I might just change my gym schedule to be a hour earlier just so I can drool over him.
Think this, minus the tats. Yeah, he was hot.
2. Late-night gym observation #2, why are 3/4 of the people at the gym late at night Asian?
3. 14 year old kids trying to rock facial hair and especially a trashy semi porn-stache is not attractive, and no girls (or guys for that matter) finds that appealing.
*gag*
4. I've put on about six pounds in a little under two months, but while I might have abs, my chest is still lacking. Getting past the "toned" stage is proving difficult. Damn my Asian genes.
5. Breaking up one large transaction into three smaller transactions just so you can get more free aloe vera travel sets just makes you look cheap and manipulative of the system.
Where in the world did Aaron Carter go? Random question, I know. I never really listened to his music or anything but it just popped into my head a few days ago. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s he was everywhere but he sort of just disappeared.
I know what you're thinking, "JP, why is this important in any way?", well, it's just a curiosu example of how truly ephemeral and fleeting fame can be in our here-and-now culture and views on life. I wouldn't call him a musical icon on the same level of someone like Britney Spears who came from the same era but he's a perfect example of how some people just fade away into the annals of history. He was young, cute and the catchy songs that made tween girls squeal over him, but he fell victim to a disease we all are all infected with, aging. By the mid 2000s he was off the radar. So I wonder, with Aaron Carter disappearing once his cuteness wore off, what's the fate of the modern day equivalent, Justin Bieber? I mean, they are almost the same person, both introduced into the spotlight young, but JB is where Aaron was a few years ago, I can only wonder where JB will be in 3 or 5 years. I honestly doubt his musical career will last much longer but we'll see I guess.
This was kind of a silly post but I have plenty of interesting things that have been happening in the past few days. Let's just say I might have found/entered a friends with benefits relationship. Maybe. Hopefully. hahahaha
Well, on a last note, I made a discovery, AC still makes music! Here's his latest single; it's pretty catchy and I think Justice Crew, the winners of Australia's Got Talent did a cover so that's pretty cool. We'll see how this performs on the charts, if it even charts. Can I ask one question though, why the hell is Flo Rida showing up everywhere? Stop settling for second rate gigs.
Once again, home doesn't even feel like home anymore. Can I just run away and see what the world throws my way? I feel trapped in this bubble where everyone is just grey, nobody talks to each other anymore, and I feel like I'm just getting slower with each passing second.
My mom complains she doesn't see me anymore; the problem is, if all I have waiting for me is sitting on the couch all day mindlessly watching Youtube videos, I'd much rather be out exploring the world. It's Father's day, and my dad's in the bedroom watching a Chinese soap while my mom is sitting in the sun room with a blank expression on her face, and here I am wondering why the hell I'm just sitting here.
Honestly, if anything good is to come out of this, my mom needs to stop trying to fix things and just let it go.
Lessons from the retail and high end home and body care worlds on how to making big sales. Hopefully you can gain some insight and spot some of these tricks of the trade the next time you buy something.
(This is obviously a satire of the retail world, of which I am a part of, but I will not deny the truth behind much of what I'm about to say)
Ingredients:
-Customers and a store
Directions:
1. Strike like lightning: Greet customers valued clients the second they step into the store; it doesn't matter if they look like they're "just looking" or trying to sneak a sample of lotion before running out, they're not getting away that easy. A simple "Hello, how are you" works. This breaks the ice
2. Hook them with pretty numbers: Everyone loves to play the "how low can you go game". The bigger the discount/sale number you can throw, the better. Size matters, and 35% and up is best. Start throwing numbers around right after asking if they need help finding anything.
3. Watch them like an eagle watches its prey: Don't hover too close, but be within earshot in case of questions and always be ready to offer samples and retrieve products; pampering leads to a false sense of security comfort and a greater openness to suggestions of complementary products and spending more money.
4. Let the music do it's work: Clients like to browse, if they need your help, they will typically ask; you don't want to come across as overbearing. Let the Ellie Goulding playing over the store speakers work its magic..trust me, it's still a mystery as to how it casts it's spell.
Ellie Goulding: Starry Eyed
Of course you need a Dubstep remix-
Ellie Goulding: Starry Eyed (Jakwob Remix)
5. Smile, Wink, Bieberesque Hairflip- Turn the Charm to 10: When the customer starts taking products off shelves, they are most susceptible to suggestions for complementing products. Getting the hand lotion? Why not try the exfoliating scrub as well? The perfume? Try the reed diffuser for your home (it doesn't have to make perfect sense). It's not guaranteed to work, but I've made it work on plenty of occasions. My units-per-transaction (UPT) and and average total price per sale love me for this.
6. Check them out at Checkout: The products, not the customer. The ringup process can be a grey, dreary moment for the customer, they are about to part ways with their money...and I can personally vouch for 99% of people when I say that people don't like to give up their money. So, strike up conversation, smile, laugh if they make a joke, and always say that one of the products they chose is one of your personal favorites. This doesn't necessarily have to be true, but relatability between client and company is key, and being the final face of the company the customer will see, this is one white lie that I'll let slide. Leave a good impression, keep the charm at 10 and make them feel special (because they are) and they will be much more likely to return for more.
He just found out he qualifies for a free travel bag
7. Shock and Awe: OhhMeeeGeee, guess what! "If you spend $X more, you can get Y for Free". Ding ding ding! You just dropped the retail F-bomb, but a good f-bomb! You say this at the end where you can see the subtotal for sales, and always with an upbeat, almost surprised tone. We run promotions almost constantly where if you purchase at or over a certain amount you get a free gift (typically $50 or $75). Usually I will only say this if they are within $10 of that target goal. The magic of this "shock and awe" is that it's an admittedly sneaky way to get people to spend more money for the promise of getting something for free, typically a cheap-to-produce mini gift set made to look fancy. Starting to notice a theme? Free is good; "free" is god-speak in the retail world.
Sorta like this...except with words and stuff
8. Send them off with kisses and flowers: Okay, maybe not that much fanfare (too expensive), but ask if they would like anything gift wrapped, let them know of any upcoming sales and always end with a "Have a Wonderful Day" done with absolute full eye contact. Sound creepy? Not really, but eye contact shows you're confident in quality and worth of what you're handing over to them in the bag and that you care and give a damn about them. Most people overlook the fact that a loyal customer base is the only way any business stays afloat, so ending on a positive note is always, always, always key.
Holy crap, where has the time gone? I still remember writing my 100th post but here I am working on my 300th. I originally started this blog back in 2009 as a way to try and say the things I was too scared to ever discuss with anyone, not even my closest friends. Mostly, this consisted about my inner conflict about being gay and what I should do about it. In the handful of years since, I've become much more comfortable with myself and you guys have been there every step of the way; starting with my initial personal acceptance, to my very first coming out to Maria, then eventually to my mom and since then to many of my friends. You also seen me through the home stretch of my high school years, my time with the crew team that I still miss to this day, graduation, my transition into college and now the completion of my freshman year. Each step of the way, I used this blog to share what was going on in my life, any thoughts I had, and if I ever needed some advice, I'd ask it to my readers. You guys have provided some really valuable feedback and some truly kind comments over the years, and even though I haven't met and likely never will meet any of you, I still feel like we're friends.
So, thank you guys for reading the scribblings of this teenager from D.C., I hope you've found my writing something enjoyable and a positive addition to your web surfing days. 300 posts may have come and now passed, but here's to many, many more to come.
All the best,
JP
P.S. - I've added a Formspring box to the sidebar, so please feel free to ask me anything, I'll answer as many questions as I can.
I really, really want to go to the beach which is odd since I never really liked beaches that much in the past. I was always more of a great-indoors kind of guy. Considering the weather here for the past few days, it's been way to hot to be going outside, but once it falls back into the 80s, I want to go on a weekend trip to Ocean City. The water and beaches this far up the coast aren't particularly good though, more proper for sunbathing than swimming in the ocean, but I've been craving escaping from DC for a little while.
The OC...MD
I wish there was more to do in DC, but alas, even with museums and all that jazz, things do get boring. My search for a second job has been put on pause for the time being but I plan to resume my search soon. I'll just keep going to the gym and finding random things to do to fill my time.
I never understood the necessity of the existstance of the phrase "No Homo". Are some guys really so insecure that they will believe that friends would misinterpret something like "I love you guys" said in a perfectly platonic, amicable sense as sexual? It's not like they're blind or deaf to tone, setting or whatever else would differentiate something to be more intimate in or just friendly. Thankfully, I've noticed that this was mostly a high school phenomena as I've rarely have heard it in college (not to say that there isn't some hate towards gays, because there is). I have a feeling it's mostly a phase kids go through (haven't we heard that somewhere before?) when they just don't fully understand something yet and are just afraid of bring called "gay", especially in the confines of secondary school where labels are especially powerful in determining whether you're one of the "cool" kids or not.
I realize that for closeted guys who use the phrase out of necessity or to hide their true desires, "No Homo" can be painful to say, not outwardly, but on the inside. It's a stupid phrase but at least it's not as widespread as it could be like what happened with "That's so gay".
Well, now I have something I hope you guys will enjoy. Yeah, "No Homo" just became funny. So sit back, relax, and pass the nuts!...No Homo.
The personal blog of a now recent college grad who successfully pushed through a business school curriculum and now is facing the "real world" with an actual big boy job. This blog follows the the joys, challenges, struggles, and surprises it presents to him, whether it be work, school, his peers, or the occasional rogue deer running into the road. Join Me, Won't You?
Maria - My best friend since kindergarden, I know almost everything about her and she about me. She was the first person I came out to and has been the rock ontowhich I go to when things get rocky in life. She's the only person I can actually speak completely open and frankly with. I don't know what I would do if I never met her all those years ago.
M - A girl I became friends with freshman year of high school, we've become very close friends and continue to be to this very day. We are surprisingly similar personality wise and value each other's opinion very highly. I can talk freely to M almost as much as I can with Maria. She currently attends an ivy-league university up north; I'm really glad we met all those years ago and can only imagine how my high school years would have turned out if we never met.
Miss X- Foodie, blogger, photgrapher, one of my best friends, and someone who can have a delightfully dry sense of humour. We met early on in high school and have been friends ever since. We often go on adventures accross NOVA with our little circle of friends which are occasionally recounted here on this blog.
Christine- Friends since we could barely ride half the roller coasters at theme parks, Christine is a magical being who is one of the few people I could and would talk about anything with for hours on end. She's currently spending much of her time in NYC though we still see each other very often. Her dramas sometimes make my drama seem like childsplay.
Mark -A former dorm mate, and now former crush. He came out as bi to me and Maudry one night which he has been increasingly comfortable with. He's tall, has short brown hair and used to play football. He's ambitious and looks to make a big impact in the world of Politics in the future. I have had a crush on him and we've gotten together a few times. I thought our relationship could have been something more, but in the end it will end up staying as a friendship. I hope only the best for him.
Liz - One of best friends at school. She's funny, charismatic and is someone who I can tell almost anything to. She's friends with Maudry, Mark and is part of the first floor crew who I love and frequently visited during my freshman year, we're still great friends today.
Matt - My now former love, hate, drug, everything. I met him back during my Sophomore year and the crush I developed on him that stuck for the longest time. He's tall, has brown blond hair and the rare but desirable "serious but funny" personality that makes me melt. He also has probably one of the best smiles of any guy I know. He was one of the captains of my high schools cross country team. For quite some time I've tried to end this obsession over him but everytime I seemed to make progress, I'd relapse. He's a great guy but in all liklihood he's straight.
Southern Charm (aka SC) - A guy on the crew team who had moved up from Florida during my senior year. He's charming, tall, and slim with brown slightly wavy short hair. When I first met him I got the thought that he might be gay, a thought I quickly suppressed. Since then, we had become pretty good friends. My friend Jess has a crush on SC. One evening on a car ride home, my friend Dutch told me she thought that SC might be gay, something I had repressed in my mind for months, but was pushed to the front of my mind again. He's now a freshman and is study engineering and comp sci in university.
Ben - A guy I had the pleasure of knowing for one of the best weeks of my life during a cruise over the summer. He's a bit shorter than me but was also a senior who runs cross country. We got to know each other pretty well and had many conversations during that week that I will probably never forget. He has brown hair and the most beautiful light brown eyes. I'm pretty sure he's straight but i couldn't help but get the feeling he could have been bi. He's mostly in my summer 2009 posts.
Dutch - My friend who I met during my junior year on the crew team. She's a fun great person to be around and is someone I could talk about anything with, especially during the private car rides back from practice. We both know of all the crew drama that goes on.
My Family - A network of people who I love with all my heart despite their nuances, quirks and often ridiculous practices. Apart from my mom, I haven't told anyone I'm gay and probably won't for a while. They're not ready for that and don't need the added stress.
Various Single Lettered Friends (L, T, K etc)- Friends I got too lazy to actually come up with an alias for (I gave up after five, how sad haha). They are usually someone from my close group of friends some of which I have come out to. We have a very mutually supportive relationship that fosters great bonds between us as a group.
**Names Changed to Preserve Anonymity**
I'm from the ________
I Can't Resist...
Where are You From?
Full Disclosure
All pictures on this blog are taken from the internet and are assumed to be of public domain. If you own any image and would like for it to be removed, let me know and it will be removed immediately.
