I'm going to take a break, a break from constant fretting and searching. My problem is that I need to stop jumping on every small hint or glimmer of hope whether it be love or opportunity. It's so childish and doesn't make any headway in terms of progress or making me a better person.
Love isn't something you search for. Love is something that will happen when the time is right. It will come at the most unexpected of times and in the most unexpected of places. This constant search I've been on hasn't produced fruit because I've adopted such a self-centered me-me-me attitude towards it. I'm wrong and I'm actually happy to admit to that. I'm single and it's nothing to be ashamed of. With only 18 years under my belt there is lots of time to experience new things and meet new people; it's exciting.
I will find him, or he will find me. I can never know when or where because that's all part of the big scheme of things. Life's like riding a roller coaster for the first time; you can see all its twists and turns, crests and troughs while waiting in line and imagine the sensation of flying through every one of them, but until you reach them, you will never feel that lightness in your seat or those butterflies in your stomach. Heck, that corkscrew could turn out to be as exciting as you expected or more than you ever could have imagined. Right now I'm on the slow climb up; the top of the first hill is near yet I don't know exactly what lies on the other side. It's probably going to be a wild ride up ahead but I'm ready.
Join me, won't you?
We're in for the ride of a lifetime.
Happy Thanksgiving!
3 weeks ago
Loved the roller coaster stuff lol and you're right It'll eventually happen, even though the waiting sucks :/
ReplyDeleteI dunno JP sometimes it is so confusing. The problem is that most situations in life are easier to get into than out of. (eg AV and her high school bf) The idea is to find that best friend/lover who complements your life, and sometimes it takes a few years for all the warts (that we all have) to come out lol. But don't moan your heart out too much for being 'single' cos the freedom is nice. I'm sure that the vast majority of married guys with families, kids, and mortgages secretly resent the loss of freedom; many spouses jealously dislike their partner making any new friends cos they see it as a threat to their relationship. I don't think there is a single husband who can make it out the front door without hearing 'where are you going?' The grass is not always greener on the other side. Enjoy your freedom cos you are young. bfn - Wayne:)
ReplyDeleteI think you've got a good attitude, JP. If you can accept what you have and not make yourself miserable by concentrating on what you don't have, you'll have a much better time of it.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your newer post
ReplyDeleteI don't know what's going on but based on what I read I do know that your English is much better then mine.
You have creativity and imagination when you write.
When you write, depending on the post, I cam feel like that I am in the place that you are talking about and that is good enough for me.
Focus on this, you are an excellent writer and you will get better as time goes on but you can't focus on what you aren't but rather what you are, A good guy and based on what I have read over the a good friend too.
Take Care from not a white guy either but Black guy,
Ethan
P.S. if you ever need someone to talk to just message me or leave a comment on my blog and I will get back to you
ReplyDeleteEthan
JP, I don't know why anyone would criticize your English; your writing seems just fine to me and well within reason for a blog. And any person these days with a sane head on their shoulders does not regard ethnicity any differently than hair colour. But if you have a public blog then you must expect to get some nasty comments or emails from unbalanced people out there. Immediately delete these and relegate them to the trash bin where they belong. Don't dignify them by taking it to the head. (I know it is hard not to get upset) You can also set your blog to preview comments. bfn - Wayne (hugs and work hard on those exams!)
ReplyDelete@ Wayner — I don't see any comment that asks the offensive question. I'm guessing that it was someone at the university whose thoughts he requested. At first I assumed it was a professor, but now I'm beginning to think it might have been a fellow student. And comment moderation wouldn't help for this sort of thing, since one has to read all the comments before deciding whether they go on the blog or not.
ReplyDelete@ JP — If it was a prof, be sure to tell him/her what you wrote here.