Une Vie Compliquée: Baby I'm a Fool

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Baby I'm a Fool

Coffee is flowing through my veins as I continue to work into the wee hours of the morning. I've spent my entire night in the library re-writing a theology paper which still feels like a piece of crap to me but there really isn't much I can do now.

It's past 3:30 and the rest of the study group has left, leaving me the lone ranger but there have been a few bright spots to the night. I got to talk one-on-one with Zach when we went to get some coffee and food together; he's a really comfortable person to be around and he waited for me to get my drink before heading back to the table. I also got his number tonight though it was more of a friend-exchange thing than anything. We're beginning to feel more and more comfortable around each other and that's a good thing.

Tomorrow (nee Today) is the last day of classes for this semester. I have my International Business final tomorrow in class and my final calc and theology classes and then I'm done. Some people on the first floor were possibly going to a gay club to dance and celebrate the end of the semester tonight but I'm not really in the clubbing mood though so I don't think I'm going. Rather, I'm going to an IRC-UNICEF winter gala tomorrow instead which ends at 10 so I guess if I wanted to go clubbing afterwards I could. Thing is, I'm feeling more in the hanging with good friends and spending the night in kind of mood so we'll see.

Well, it's technically Thursday but hey, it's time for music.

Melody Gardot- Baby I'm a Fool

It's a really nice song to just relax, read or study to and the tranquil nature of the song reflects the sense of general calm I'm feeling too. Nice!

All the best,

JP

Glossary

Some people I mention in this blog:

Maria - My best friend since kindergarden, I know almost everything about her and she about me. She was the first person I came out to and has been the rock ontowhich I go to when things get rocky in life. She's the only person I can actually speak completely open and frankly with. I don't know what I would do if I never met her all those years ago.

M - A girl I became friends with freshman year of high school, we've become very close friends and continue to be to this very day. We are surprisingly similar personality wise and value each other's opinion very highly. I can talk freely to M almost as much as I can with Maria. She currently attends an ivy-league university up north; I'm really glad we met all those years ago and can only imagine how my high school years would have turned out if we never met.

Miss X- Foodie, blogger, photgrapher, one of my best friends, and someone who can have a delightfully dry sense of humour. We met early on in high school and have been friends ever since. We often go on adventures accross NOVA with our little circle of friends which are occasionally recounted here on this blog.

Christine- Friends since we could barely ride half the roller coasters at theme parks, Christine is a magical being who is one of the few people I could and would talk about anything with for hours on end. She's currently spending much of her time in NYC though we still see each other very often. Her dramas sometimes make my drama seem like childsplay.

Mark -A former dorm mate, and now former crush. He came out as bi to me and Maudry one night which he has been increasingly comfortable with. He's tall, has short brown hair and used to play football. He's ambitious and looks to make a big impact in the world of Politics in the future. I have had a crush on him and we've gotten together a few times. I thought our relationship could have been something more, but in the end it will end up staying as a friendship. I hope only the best for him.

Liz - One of best friends at school. She's funny, charismatic and is someone who I can tell almost anything to. She's friends with Maudry, Mark and is part of the first floor crew who I love and frequently visited during my freshman year, we're still great friends today.

Matt - My now former love, hate, drug, everything. I met him back during my Sophomore year and the crush I developed on him that stuck for the longest time. He's tall, has brown blond hair and the rare but desirable "serious but funny" personality that makes me melt. He also has probably one of the best smiles of any guy I know. He was one of the captains of my high schools cross country team. For quite some time I've tried to end this obsession over him but everytime I seemed to make progress, I'd relapse. He's a great guy but in all liklihood he's straight.

Southern Charm (aka SC) - A guy on the crew team who had moved up from Florida during my senior year. He's charming, tall, and slim with brown slightly wavy short hair. When I first met him I got the thought that he might be gay, a thought I quickly suppressed. Since then, we had become pretty good friends. My friend Jess has a crush on SC. One evening on a car ride home, my friend Dutch told me she thought that SC might be gay, something I had repressed in my mind for months, but was pushed to the front of my mind again. He's now a freshman and is study engineering and comp sci in university.

Ben - A guy I had the pleasure of knowing for one of the best weeks of my life during a cruise over the summer. He's a bit shorter than me but was also a senior who runs cross country. We got to know each other pretty well and had many conversations during that week that I will probably never forget. He has brown hair and the most beautiful light brown eyes. I'm pretty sure he's straight but i couldn't help but get the feeling he could have been bi. He's mostly in my summer 2009 posts.

Dutch - My friend who I met during my junior year on the crew team. She's a fun great person to be around and is someone I could talk about anything with, especially during the private car rides back from practice. We both know of all the crew drama that goes on.

My Family - A network of people who I love with all my heart despite their nuances, quirks and often ridiculous practices. Apart from my mom, I haven't told anyone I'm gay and probably won't for a while. They're not ready for that and don't need the added stress.

Various Single Lettered Friends (L, T, K etc)- Friends I got too lazy to actually come up with an alias for (I gave up after five, how sad haha). They are usually someone from my close group of friends some of which I have come out to. We have a very mutually supportive relationship that fosters great bonds between us as a group.

**Names Changed to Preserve Anonymity**

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Baby I'm a Fool

Une Vie Compliquée

Contact Me

For New Readers

Followers

Time Machine

Read These

Glossary

I'm from the ________

I Can't Resist...

Where are You From?

Full Disclosure