Looking Towards The Future

I want to make something of my time at college. I want more than just an education, more than the thrill of meeting new people or living independently. I want to take control of my life. Next semester I’m going to get involved in more clubs; I’m going to get a job and I’m going to get myself out there and become part of campus life.

One thing that I’ve never done in my life is hold an actual job. I’ve worked before, neighbors needing help, housework and the like, but for the most part nothing that pays a steady wage. I’ve wanted to get jobs over the summer before, but my parents want to travel too often that I’d be out so much and be inconcsistent iwth attendance. It would be more of a hassle for me and any prospective employer that it would be worth. I’ve never really had a true impetus that would force me to get a job either. I fear sounding conceited or snooty but the truth is that money for the most part never had been a issue. My family isn't rich but I’d budget Christmas and birthday money throughout the year, spend frugally and my parents would give me money whenever I asked so in the end, spending money was always on hand.

I’ve lived a comfortable life and I’ve felt guilty about that before and occasionally still do.

Now that I’m gaining more control of my future I feel one thing that will do a lot for me developmentally would be to find a job and earn money for myself. Even if I can’t make a meaningful impact on my admittedly outrageous tuition and housing I can at least earn spending money on my own. A step forward is a step forward anyway you look at it. There’s a student run business at school that I’m considering getting a job with; they own a chain of coffee shops, a convenience store, a grocery store, do catering and more. I’m also planning to look off-campus and see if any shops are be hiring. I dream of one day starting my own business or climbing to the top of an established corporation so getting a job now will get me some hands-on experience and help lay the groundwork for whatever comes in the future.

I also need to get involved in more clubs. I did fencing for a few weeks but dropped it after not feeling as passionate about it as I thought I would be. Sure it was fun, but just because something is fun doesn’t mean I want to commit to it. Crew was the only sport I committed to in high school because I felt passionate about it. It was a team sport; everyone was putting in 110% in perfect synchronization to achieve a central goal, and even if we didn’t succeed we still had the time of our lives. I sorely miss that feeling of togetherness, of camaraderie.

How not to row:

"Being beautiful doesn't make you a good rower, being a good rower makes you beautiful."

I am somewhat involved however; I'm part of my school’s LGBT pride organization but it feels disconnected to its members. Sure they organize plenty of events but I’ve never felt like I wanted to participate. I think it’s because they’re very “loud” on the pride part. I’m not a fan of how in-your-face some of their events are. I understand that they’re trying to get people to recognize their efforts and their message about being gay and proud but there are better, more reasonable ways in my mind.

Finally I need to get more involved with volunteering. I’ve been in contact with the LGBTQ center on campus and I’ve known the administrator for the center since I first arrived on campus. I’m on their volunteer email list and plan to help out as much as I can when I return. I’m looking at trying to get a regular returning spot in the center too. This is the kind of environment where I think progress towards getting people to accept gays can make the most progress. It's somewhere where people can get help and also a way to show gay pride while also showing that we're normal, everyday people and friends as well.

So those are my goals for the Spring semester; sure, this will be a lot on my plate but I think I should be good. I’m into the rhythm of things now and have gotten over the initial freshman terror period so I think I can handle it.

This just in! final grades have been posted and while I don’t completely agree with all my grades I still averaged between a B+ and A- so I shouldn’t complain. This isn’t high school anymore so things are definitely harder; nevertheless, I feel that the only direction I can go now is up. Three cheers for optimism? Maybe?

Well, here’s my latest musical addiction. I loved her single Chasing Pavements when Adele first burst into the spotlight a few years ago but this song just proves her talent.


Adele- Rolling in the Deep

All the best,

JP