The "L" Word

I thought I was going to try and get over him....we were too different, at two different points in our lives. Then last night...

"I love you."

I thought I would never hear him say those words.

"I love you too."

Ben: Revisited

So back in the summer of 2009 I went on vacation with my family on a cruise where I met a guy named Ben. During this period I had yet to come out, but being the 16 year old self I was, I found Ben to be quite attractive and we spent a healthy amount of time together. We hung out, ice skated together and the fun stuff 16 year olds do while on vacation and then we went our separate ways. I had a small crush on him and after coming home I added him on Facebook. In the years since, I'd occasionally see what he's been up to via FB updates but not much more than that. If you want to read more, he has a brief bio on the sidebar.

Anyways, I made a few predictions back in 2009 about where we would be headed and some ended up coming true. He ended up going to an Ivy League school and appears to be doing well for himself. What recently caught my attention however was that he went to an LGBT event for Ivy-League schools. I should recap that back in 2009 I got the feeling that he was indeed gay despite the actual uselessness of my gaydar. Something tipped me off during that one-week span but ultimately I was left in the dark for these past few years. Well, after some light Facebook stalking I think that he is in fact gay or at least bi. The reason I found this funny for so many reasons is that now I want to know if some of my other hunches during high school were also true, people like Matt, my high school crush, and Southern Charm, my crew teammate crush. It really has me thinking. I hope that my gaydar isn't set on some permanent 3-year delay which will put a serious damper on my already crappy love life.

I haven't spoken to Ben in the years since but nevertheless, I'm glad to see that things seem to be working out well for him. That was actually one of the best weeks of my life reflecting on the experience. It was the summer before my senior year of high school and things were really going well at that point. It was fun and simple and feels so far away from where I am now. I think I'm going to browse around some of my old posts now and see what things I have since forgotten. This is why I love blogging, it's like a time capsule into my life.

Anyways, I'm headed back in to DC tomorrow with Ms. X and a few other friends for a day of restaurant hopping, museum visiting, and general wandering about. It looks like it might snow or rain tomorrow which I hope won't mess with our plans too much.

All the best,

JP

(Almost) Spring Break

Only a German midterm stands between me and freedom for a week and a half. I just have to crank it for one last night in the library. It's so close I can taste it.

In other news, the weather in DC today was absolutely beautiful so I decided to go for a run down to the National Mall with brief stops at the Lincoln, WWII and Vietnam memorials. Yeah, I love going to school in DC. After coming back to my dorm, my legs were completely shot and I was exhausted but it was completely worth it.

I don't really have any plans for spring break, mostly just hanging out with friends and maybe going on a road trip or two if something pops up on a whim. Mom took a week off so we'll probably do some bonding too. Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to escaping the city for a little while.

All the best,

JP

Land Legs

You know what, things got better, and it was mostly due to the singing of a cruise ship piano man I went to listen to and chat with almost every night for the past week.

Robert was his name, he sang mostly older classics- Garth Brooks, Journey, Bon Jovi- all with a slight accent, occasionally dropping the H in "th-" words which made me smile on the inside.

Every night at 9:15, he began his one man act, just him and his piano and a bar full of people looking for an escape through singing along in all tones and pitches, drink in hand, reveling in the company of strangers. Being in that lounge each night made me happy in a "everything will be alright" sort of way. It was nice, really nice.

Of course I did other things; I lost money at the blackjack table, I went to the beach, I hit the gym, I slept way too much, and I ate my body weight in five course dinners every night. I didn't whore myself out; it was an idea born in jest from the start, and apart from some nice eye candy at the gym, all the guys were douchey-looking bros who were all seniors, 90% of whom were from Pitt or JMU (nothing bad about those schools, just an observation).

So it was pretty relaxing which was good. I need to catch up on work now but I did get some work done over the break. Mostly, though, I'm ready to get back to campus now. I've had my time to think and unwind, but I'm ready to get back to the grind of things.

Strangely, I miss it.

JP

You Slut.

Surprise, surprise, my Spring break plans have changed once again. As I've mentioned a few weeks ago, I was supposed to go on a cruise this week but that got canceled because of my parent's getting separated....well, apparently it's back on.

What the hell is going on? I don't even know anymore. I haven't spoken or seen my dad in about a month and my mom hadn't spoken to my dad until two days ago. He doesn't want to waste the holiday so despite how obviously awkward it's going to be I reluctantly/was guilt tripped into going. I honestly think it's a bad idea but my mom needs to get away from home and wants to take advantage of the time to talk with dad about how things are going to proceed. They've turned a Caribbean holiday into a business trip. I'll let them do what they do, maybe this will be a productive holiday for them. I hope so at least.

As for what I'm going to do? Well, I've been granted an unprecedented level of freedom by my mom to spend time on the ship as I please. She doesn't want me to have to deal with the inevitable drama so she said I should go off and do whatever and try to enjoy myself...whatever that means. We are still staying in the same room and we're probably going to eat together for dinner and such but otherwise I'm going to preoccupy myself with the GT of the GTL the Jersey Shore has made so popular, in addition to other things. I'm still modeling for the Spring fashion show so the gym will be my best friend for the week but I also need to socialize.

It is Spring break for many schools in the US so there will be plenty of college aged people on board so I need to make sure to make an effort to meet and talk to them. There's a club on board and the casino where I can probably meet a bunch of people so as long as I don't become too engrossed in not being awkward and thus come across as too shy, I think I should be fine. I've met some amazing people on cruises before so hopefully this will be repeated this time 'round as well.

Spring break also brings up another thing I'm looking forward too, guys, and lots of them. Yes, I do intend to scope out some guys to get together with during my holiday, and yes, I am going to let loose and have some fun over the course of the week. I don't want to completely whore myself out, but Spring break is supposed to be fun and getting some is part of that. I don't have much in ways of work and when there are so many possibilities to meet guys I'm going to milk it for all its got.

God, I sound like a slut ;)

Speaking of milking things for all they've got...I'm still not on good terms with my dad but in keeping with the spirit of a no-holds-barred Spring break, I plan to take advantage of my dad's credit card and try my hand at blackjack, poker, drinks on shore and jet skiing. It sounds like I'm taking advantage of the situation (and I sorta am to be honest) but at this point, I don't care as much as I probably should. To give you another idea about this weird relationship I have with my dad right now, I've talked to my mom about getting a job at the local Wegmans this summer and since we both need a car, she told me to talk my dad into buying me one. Essentially she said he has the money, use it while you can. It's very passive aggressive and back handed in all honesty. If that gives you a flavour about what the relationship between me, my mom and my dad have right now you can only imagine what the overall situation is like.

Well, we'll see how this week turns out. I'm going to try to have fun and if I get some Internet access I'll do some updates and hopefully some photos for you guys as well.

Smooth seas ahead captain...I hope.

JP

UVA, Regatta #1 and Spring Break!!

I got into UVA!! This is my second college acceptance and it's to my top regional school! They released the results online and since I was going to be at crew practice, I gave my friend my login and password so she could check my results for me when the time came around and text me the result. When I got the text, I jumped up and did an in-air 360 degree spin and then ran around in a circle cheering two times before finally calming down. Excessive? Maybe, but worth every stare? Hell Yes.

In crew news, we have our first regatta tomorrow. It's only for upper (varsity) boats so that way the novices can watch an actual race before they too participate in their first regatta along with us next week. The varsity guys will be racing two boats, a first 8 and a second 8. I'm going to be in the second 8 in 2 seat towards the bow this time. I just got back from carboloading and 5 intense rounds of air hockey at our first pre-regatta pasta party so I've successfully tired myself out enough so that I will sleep well tonight in preparation for tomorrow. I have to be at the boat house at 8:30 tomorrow morning so I have to get up early which is the only bad part. With all this positive energy, I hope we will do well.

Finally, I'm officially on Spring Break. Normally, my parents and I would travel down to our Florida home for the week but, this is Senior year, and that means college letters. Because I wanted to stay home, my parents and I decided that they would take my aunt and uncle down to Florida and take them sightseeing. They're leaving tomorrow so I'll be home to take care of Max, our dog and my grandpa. A few of my colleges said they will be posting decisions online but many others will be doing it only by mail. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be in the tent by the mail box. I plan to have plenty of relaxation time and time out with friends however so I plan to really enjoy my final high school Spring Break.

Such a great start to what hopefully will be a great week and a half.

All the best,

JP