Homecoming Part Deux and BFs

I promised I would go into greater detail as to what went on during homecoming so here I go- As I said dinner was good, ableit service being rather on the lethargic side and we arrived at the school around 9:30. For the majority of the dance I was with my crew group and for the most part the music wasn't that good (what's new?) but occasionally a few danceable songs were thrown in. It seemed this year turnout was smaller than in previous years but one thing that was the same was the heat and humidity. Our homecoming is held in the school gym and needless to say an over 40 year old air conditioning and ventilation system is not going to cope well with the amount of heat and sweat of a gym full of moving teenagers. Also, let me just say, what the hell happened to actual dancing at a dance? The majority of the people were in grind trains or were packed so close together you could count how many eyelashes someone has (wtf was that analogy?)Later on in the night people started to leave so things quieted down a bit, the final two songs were Mr. Brightside by The Killers (totally my 8th grade jam) and Don't Stop Belivin' by Journey, a rather strange ending slow dance in my opinion. But overall, this was a pretty cool homecoming, the only thing which could have made it better would have been if I had a date but I'll discuss that later.

Now that I've come out to someone in my family, I'm making an attempt to come out all the way at school. Apart from the dozen or so who already know, I don't think if it has gotten out yet eventhough I've told everyone that I don't really care if people know anymore. While finally almost coming out at school feels great, one thing that I really want/is bothering me is my lack of a boyfriend. As most of you know of my love for someone named Matt, I'm trying to get across to myself that I'm 92% sure he's straight and that this will get nowhere and that I'm wasting my time. Needless to say this is proving to be rather difficult (I've liked him for almost two years now >.<) so maybe I should take things one step at a time and get over him before I make any new moves no matter how long it will take.

The problem is that at my school it's particularly difficult to find any other gay or bi guys mostly because the ones that are out are not who I'm looking for and all the others are either in the closet or I just don't know they exist. My bit of applied statistics in a previous post worked out about 7 or 8 gay/bi guys in my senior class, I forgot whether if I included myself in that or not. Even so, I only know of three gay/bi guys in my class which leaves over half either a mystery to me or are in the closet, all statistically of course. So I'm stuck, really, none of the guys that are out appeal to me and all the others can't be found. I know that maybe I should open up my mind and look at those who I know are out, but even with that things still don't' work.

So, have any advice? Things aren't really in my control but I really want to be in some relationship before high school ends, don't want to sound needy or anything, it's just the truth.

All the best,

JP

Homecoming

So Homecoming was a blast, hyper humidity, semi-deaf ears, sweatiness and all. In the end, the homecoming race was really close but another guy beat me to the HC King win. But good thing is, the guy who won is a really nice person and if I were to lose to anyone it would have been him; he isn't a jerk like many of the other guys are so it was all good in the end. This whole process was probably one of the most memorable experiences of my high school career, and even though I did not win, I did manage to get a free HC ticket($20 value!) and a sweet sash out of it lol.

After pictures at one of my friend's houses, we went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant which was really good but service was kinda slow that night, the veal parmigiana I got was really tasty. We ended up arriving a little late to the dance but still managed to have a ton of fun. I won't comment too much on the dancing but let me just say that most of the dancing that goes on at high school now is really going beyond what is socially acceptable, literally, if things went just a little further, it would be "straight up fornication" in the words of my friend Kirstin. I generally hung around my group of crew friends in the end as well as the German exchange student who we invited to join us (funny lad, really) and I honestly believe we had the most fun out of everyone at the dance. (details withheld until next post)

Okay, so I'm going to cut things short and cut out other details of my rather busy weekend and other things that went on during HC for now. I'll go into greater detail in my next post but I need to go to bed as I have a government test tomorrow, sorry, night y'all.

All the best,

JP

A Foggy Day (In London Town)

So I can't really think of anything to talk about, I should be reading, doing English homework or studying but being the procrastinator I am, I will be putting it off until tomorrow (heh, let's see how that works out). My fever it seems is finally gone for good, but just as I'm getting better, it seems 8 people have taken my place by getting what they claim to be the swine flu (doubt it, probably just regular flu or something for many) but I guess that's what happens this time of year. I really hope I, or anyone for that matter, doesn't have to go through that awful experience again.

Anyways, I would also like to congratulate some of the other people who have recently come out- Jason Carwin, Brett and FMS have all come out and I subscribe to all these guys so look for them and give them a shoutout for the huge step they made, and the amazing amount of courage they all displayed.

This coming week doesn't look like too much fun, especially with AP English acting like a two ton steel ball and chain attached to my ankle. We recently turned in a draft for college essays to be graded, I really hope I didn't bomb it,.I didn't think it was too bad, but it was hardly my best work. Hopefully, everything will turn out okay in the end and Friday will be good. Friday is going to be pretty busy, there's the first pep rally and I get to walk down the football field with my escort (best friend Maria) and then that evening at the football game I get to do the same except with my mom as well. At halftime I also get to find out who will be this year's HC King and Queen. Wouldn't it be awesome if I won, haha. I'll let you guys know right away what happens, win or lose it was a pretty fun once-in-a-lifetime experience. This week is also spirit week at my school anf tomorrow is flashback day, I contemplated dressing up as a dinosaur but I ran out of time and green and brown scales to stick onto my body.

Sorry this was kinda a filler post, I'm having an absolute block onto anything interesting and with this busy week coming up, it also appears that posts may be rarer than normal.

Anyways, the title was a Michael Bublé reference, I love his voice and he isn't too bad looking either, great background music.

Well, goodnight, and I hope everyone will have a fun and productive week.

All the best,

JP

I Can Has Boyfriend?

First, let me begin by giving credit to a group of people who I love more than anyone would ever know- you guys, the readers. Your support and advice has made this entire process so much smoother and memorable than I could ever have imagined. Also, I still can't believe how many followers I have, I was shocked when I had just one, but now at 17, I'm just in a state of shock! Y'all are really the best and I just thought you should know that.

Things have been going smoothly since Tuesday, the world did not stop spinning, the moon didn't implode, the ground did not open up and swallow me whole, no, it's just another school week. A few more of my friends know now, mostly through one of my other friends telling them and they've all been supportive. In other news, things have been pretty smooth lately - I did surprisingly well on a Gov essay I wrote last week and there has been a relative lack of "O My God" moments which is honestly quite a rare occurrence in my group of friends. I have an English timed writing tomorrow on 1984 tomorrow and i have my (hopefully) last SAT II subject test on Saturday. I can't wait until that is finally all done and over with, I'm really tired of these tests, I honestly believe way too much emphasis is placed on the score of a handful of tests.

Homecoming is slowly approaching, two weeks is all that's left before the first major dance of the year. I'm going out to dinner with some friends as I've done all these years, I think we're going to an Italian restaurant this year. Matt's going to Homecoming with another girl from our French class. They've been relatively good friends since last year but when I asked him, he said they were just going as friends. I honestly shouldn't care so much but the fact this this girl waits for Matt outside of class makes me wonder :/ Anyways, this long weekend (thank you Mr Columbus!) looks to be pretty fun apart from the SAT Saturday. I have a birthday party Saturday evening which I still need to buy a gift for and on Sunday it's my grandpa's birthday. Everyone is just gettin older!

Now that I'm finally coming out at school, hopefully I can find myself someone special, namely a boyfriend. I did a little math in a previous post and worked out that there are about 8-9 gay/bi guys in my class. Now, considering I only know of two being out, it makes we really curious who else might be out there, whether I know them or not will probably be the most interesting part. In a perfect world, I'll get a boyfriend by homecoming so I can have someone to walk down the field and dance with, but that will probably not happen. I already wrote on my info sheet that my best friend Maria would be my escort. Also, I finally saw everyone else on the HC court, and like I expected, it's the usual group of jocks, preps, popular jerks and socialites with me on the side. Now, I know some of the people have a loyal following of friends, but my ever so enthusiastic friends are trying their hardest to get me to win this round with a Facebook group and such, we'll see how it all turns out in two weeks.

Care to be my Homecoming date?

All the best,

JP

Gay Homecoming King?

Hey everyone, so today went by pretty smoothly; I retook my math test, finished my Physics lab and had a good day in journalism and the weather is pleasantly cool and autumn-like. Ordinary day then? well, not really. Let me provide a background info, last week, my school held nominations for this year's homecoming court, the top five guys and top five girls in the senior class vote-wise get inducted into the court and then "compete" for the title of homecoming king and queen. Now, my friends have had a little thing where we always nominate each other and think nothing of it really (there are over 600 seniors). Now, fast forward to today in journalism, my teacher has a habit of calling people over to tell them something with a very angry voice and face, making you think you've done something wrong. Well, today, he did just that but rather than yelling at me like I feared, he referred me to another school staff member to gave be a packet and simply told me "congratulations, you've been nominated into the homecoming court". Now, at this point I was in total shock and was speechless and simply stood there looking at the packet with a blank stare before awkwardly walking away and getting back to my computer. In the packet, it details how I have to attend essentially 5 meetings and take the famous walk down the football field with a date during the homecoming pep rally between now and mid-late October. On the drive home, I talked to my friend about all of this and whatnot and I think that this might just be a good time to possibly make a move. I've considered coming out to everyone in my school for quite some time and maybe this might just be the time. I honestly don't care if I win or not but what if I somehow do? How would a predominately liberal high school react to having a gay homecoming king? This isn't unheard of, last year, a school in Kansas elected a gay homecoming king to national media attention. The guy's name was Matthew Pope who attended Shawnee Mission East High School, you can read more about his story here . So yeah, this could turn out to be a pretty interesting year. Heck, I don't know if I'll go through with this, but the thought of this still intrigues me...