Adieu

Ah, hello again. Well, I have some news I should probably share, things between me and Mark have probably come to an end. We talked this afternoon and in the end the feelings were decidedly one-sided. How it worked out was that while he thought I was a nice guy he wasn't ready to start the whole boyfriend search. It was still too early. He had never really acted on any of his feelings before coming here and talking about it with me and Maudry, and the only things he's done with a guy was with me, and now he wants to go and figure himself out, and I'm fully supportive of that.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not a little disappointed and upset that things had to turn out like this way, but life goes on. At least I now know this now and can try and move on, rather than staying put and digging myself a deeper and deeper hole of false hope. I do wish him all the best, he's a great guy and I only want the best for him, with whoever that may be in the end.

As a result of this exchange, I have gotten thinking myself about my priorities. Like Mark, I never really actually have acted on my true feelings before coming here to college and maybe I'm rushing into trying to find a boyfriend a little too quickly. I mean, in a way, I've just come out again for the first time, there's a whole new world out there, ready to be seen. There are so many things to try and fail or succeed at, and with each success or failure, I will take away something that will make me that much wiser. So, maybe, I should take a page out of Mark's book and put finding a relationship on hold and just live life and have some fun. There are thousands of new people all around me I haven't met. Maybe I should just go out and have a few flings, it sounds cliché but that is part of the college experience.

I've helped Mark learn a lot about himself and he's helped me learn a lot about myself as well. Maybe things haven't worked out, but I can safely say we've both taken away a lot from this experience. We ended on good terms and friends we will remain, so maybe, one day, our paths will cross again, and if not, I'll be perfectly content.

All the best,

JP