Addendum

If you saw the post I did this morning and have since deleted, I would like to first explan why; if you didn't that too is fine.

A lot of things have been racing through my mind lately. Maybe it's because it's autumn, and like the seasons being in transition so am I also in a transition period. Then again it could be because it was the full moon two days ago and the discredited psychologists are right and it does have an effect on the human mind. Regardless of all of this, I wasn't myself this morning and I simply needed some outlet, thus the rather downhearted, despondent post.

Simply writing it served its purpose though, I felt better, much better in fact after being able to put my frustrations into words. Things have been hectic to say the least, I really wish I could go into more detail but it's something I don't think I'm ready to tell, even to complete strangers.

I've saved that post though, and maybe I'll look back on it and see that it was just a silly venting exercise, or, that maybe it actually is worth sharing. As for now, I'm going to put it away; it really did show me at one of my true lows.

One part of that post I would keep is the ending. My recent string of posts have been rather depressing in nature and I'm sorry about that. I started this blog as a way to be able to express what I otherwise couldn't or wouldn't to people in real life, strangers or my best friends, and so far it has helped. One and a half years on, I still think this was one of the best decisions I've made in a while.

Here's a small excerpt from this morning that explains why I have this blog.

"For years, I came to be the person my friends would turn to talk to whenever something was on their mind. I took all those words and emotions without a word of complaint even though sometimes they would end up weighing me down as well. Why? Because I know that if they could just talk things out with someone who would actually listen, they would feel better and go about their lives that much happier, and if I have to carry those concerns for them for that to happen, I would, because that’s all I know to do, and if my friends are happier, I’m happier.

...

When I look back at what I’ve said on this blog, I realize that pretty much everything said here is what I’ve always wanted to say in person but never could."

As I said, maybe in the future I'll re-post the whole thing in its entirety, but now is not the time for that.

I recently also told a second friend about my blog. She's a good friend of mine and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever come across. She's also good friends with Mark as well as a few other people I've mentioned. If you're reading this, and you know who you are, thank you.

I should get started on my work.

All the best,

JP