Friendcest

Is it ever a good idea to get romantically involved with someone in your close circle of friends? I've always been of the opinion that it would only lead to drama once things inevitably go sour. I'm not a pessimist if that's the impression you're ,but from what I've seen too often, people who know each other really well as friends are often too similar which oddly is a bad thing when it comes to love. Things either get boring and the couple splits, the silly little things that the pair do actually disagree on get blown out of proportion, or the couple ends up alienating themselves from the rest of the group which leads to all sorts of other social problems. What's worst is the severe awkwardness that follows after a breakup which not only affects the couple, but also the entire group of friends and ends up messing with the group dynamic.

I've always been a semi-believer in the whole opposites-attract thing when it comes to liking someone else. Almost all the guys I've liked have had more than a handful of qualities I think were vastly different from my own. This might be a fun time to also spill my not-so-secret love of bros, which is probably one of the farthest things you can get away from who I am. Nevertheless, something about them, which I think is just how different and almost foreign they are to me despite living on a college campus attracts me to them. The difference is what makes things interesting and the attraction between two people stronger in the long run. Yes, disagreements will inevitably happen, but that's a part of life.

Back to the topic of this post though, friendcest, which is what I've heard it called, seems like just a giant confusing mess of things all molded into one. Last year, one of my friends started dating another guy in the same circle and since then they've both disappeared off the radar. The guy I don't particularly care for so that isn't too much of a loss for me personally, but the girl, though we aren't the closest of friends, is really sweet and nice to have around. Nowadays, I only see them in passing and the only interaction we have is a brief "hi" every few weeks. It's troubling not only for me, but also for the other people in my group.

I'm not going to say that getting romantically involved with a close friend is an end-all, but love and friendship should be kept separately at least when it comes to close friends.

What's your opinion?

It's not you, it's me

I've been in the emergency room twice in the past day, not for myself, but because of others. Today, to say the least, will be a memorable one, and not necessarily for the best reasons. I got up at 6:45 after a call from my aunt telling me my mom was hospitalized after having chest pains the night prior. It terrified me and I was with her until almost 4PM at that point. She's okay now and has been discharged from the hospital but things still left me rather shaken up.

Tonight was the "End of Show" party for the theater production I've been doing publicity for. Things were fun for the most part; it was crowded, hot and full of unwarranted affection (both friendly and less appropriate) but tonight will probably go down in my memory, or at least in this written form, as the night I got my first true rejection in a long while. Dorky-cute theater freshman and I had to call campus emergency medical services on a girl after the party tonight. She had wayyy to much to drink, was stumbling everywhere and we had to essentially carry her back to her dorm. By the time we got there, I made to decision to call the med service on her to get them to check her out. In the end, they took her to the ER where she is passed out tonight. While me and dorky cute freshman were waiting for her in the waiting room, we got to talking. Things quickly turned to our love lives and what we've done, if we'd had met people on campus and more in general.

During our talks, I had the slightest feeling of hope, the slightest feeling that maybe, just maybe, me and him had a connection. Maybe it was the many looks we exchanged or just how comfortable the conversation was between us; it was amazing. Then I learned two facts, that creeper guy from my previous posts that won't leave me alone was trying to get with him, and that he had the hots for the roommate of a guy who has been hitting on me but just really isn't my type. He talked about how they were both really shy around each other and how he thinks the roommate likes him back and it was cute and uncomfortable at the same time. We also talked about creeper and I kept telling him I felt that something was off about him (which I do feel honestly). We kinda volleyed back and forth conversation for about half a hour until finally, one of the med service people came up to us.

We were told that we could go back to our rooms and that our friend would be okay, we got to talking on the way back. I told him he should try out for the next play we were putting on while he tried to figure out what song he would use. The topic of creeper came back up and eventually he said that I really should tell him what I'd been withholding from him whether or now it had to do with creeper. At this point, the dialog went almost movie like.

As we approached his dorm, I finally eeped out what I had been holding in the whole time.

"I really don't want things to be awkward"

"Why, what do you mean?"

"Dorky cute freshman, you're really cute and sweet, and I kinda like you"

"I'm really flattered JP, but I just don't feel the same way in that sense about our friendship"

"I know" I said, bummed

We hugged at this point and we parted ways to go back to our respective dorms.

Needless to say, it hurt. I had been hoping, after this long night of helping a drunken freshman girl back to her dorm, calling in an ambulance and medical services to her and waiting in an ER for almost an hour would produce some good, but in the end it didn't work out quite that way. Needless to say, words cannot convey the level of emotion that was present when we exchanged those brief sentences but it was really nerveracking for me. I hoped something amazing would come out of this, but alas, the world just had different plans.

That's actually a lie though, if I didn't turn back and decide to help dorky-cute freshman bring the drunken friend back to her dorm (and by that I mean carry), she very well could have ended up being in very, very bad shape. You know what, maybe that's just how things were meant to turn out. Maybe me and dorky-cute freshman were just not meant to be. What matters in the end us that in spite of all my petty personal problems, someone I cared about was safe and sound in the end. Maybe I'll get karma point for this, who knows.

Man, I never realized how much rejection actually hurts. I get the distinct impression that right now, at this very moment at 4:48 AM, I still am not realizing or feeling the full extent of this pain, that tomorrow morning, I will understand things more. I'm tired, still kinda of drunk and honestly disillusioned from everything that transpired today. I really should have gone to bed a hour ago but I really wanted to get this down before I fell asleep.

Dorky-cute freshman was a really nice guy, sure, I will probably end up seeing him around campus in the future but I guess he'll always be special in a strange way. He wasn't my first rejection, but something about what happened tonight will make this memorable. I definitely want to stay friends with him, he's a wonderful guy and I truly hope we will stay in touch even after the show ends. I just wonder now how long it will take for me to get over him.

All the best,

JP

Love

To all you couples out there, congratulations, I wish you the very best and may your love grow to new heights on this day.

To us singles, love works in mysterious ways; it eludes us, teases us and tempts us with its siren's song, yet it can seem so hard to capture and hold in our hands. Don't be discouraged though, sometimes you just need to look in the most unexpected areas to find it, and when you do, it will be the most magical feeling in the world. All the searching, waiting and frustration will be all worth it.




Happy Valentines Day y'all.