Is it ever a good idea to get romantically involved with someone in your close circle of friends? I've always been of the opinion that it would only lead to drama once things inevitably go sour. I'm not a pessimist if that's the impression you're ,but from what I've seen too often, people who know each other really well as friends are often too similar which oddly is a bad thing when it comes to love. Things either get boring and the couple splits, the silly little things that the pair do actually disagree on get blown out of proportion, or the couple ends up alienating themselves from the rest of the group which leads to all sorts of other social problems. What's worst is the severe awkwardness that follows after a breakup which not only affects the couple, but also the entire group of friends and ends up messing with the group dynamic.
I've always been a semi-believer in the whole opposites-attract thing when it comes to liking someone else. Almost all the guys I've liked have had more than a handful of qualities I think were vastly different from my own. This might be a fun time to also spill my not-so-secret love of bros, which is probably one of the farthest things you can get away from who I am. Nevertheless, something about them, which I think is just how different and almost foreign they are to me despite living on a college campus attracts me to them. The difference is what makes things interesting and the attraction between two people stronger in the long run. Yes, disagreements will inevitably happen, but that's a part of life.
Back to the topic of this post though, friendcest, which is what I've heard it called, seems like just a giant confusing mess of things all molded into one. Last year, one of my friends started dating another guy in the same circle and since then they've both disappeared off the radar. The guy I don't particularly care for so that isn't too much of a loss for me personally, but the girl, though we aren't the closest of friends, is really sweet and nice to have around. Nowadays, I only see them in passing and the only interaction we have is a brief "hi" every few weeks. It's troubling not only for me, but also for the other people in my group.
I'm not going to say that getting romantically involved with a close friend is an end-all, but love and friendship should be kept separately at least when it comes to close friends.
What's your opinion?
Hookup: New York Moments Part 2
7 months ago
Going to have to say that you are right on some points and the idea of getting together with a friend isn't always a good idea
ReplyDelete-Ethan
Your argument sounds logical, but keep in mind that fear plays a role in guiding that decision to not venture out of the friend zone. It sounds like your fear is that you'll lose friendships. Is the logic being used because of the fear?
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to love sometimes we tend to over-think things. The main thing is enjoying each other's company and having fun together. If we always worried about the consequences or risk, then we would never get any sex; that is why testosterone is similar to booze in that respect. The 'close friend' is one of the steps in securing love; hate to say it but we only get so many chances as the years go by. Your circle of friends will be broken up after university anyway; friends are always an ongoing process. - Wayne :)
ReplyDeleteI have a limited real life experience with things like this but if there's one thing the show Friends taught me, it's that there's nothing wrong with friendcest. Rachel ended up marrying Ross (like three times). Chandler married Monica. And everyone lived happily ever after, except for Joey (because his show was canceled after one season.)
ReplyDeleteSitcoms aside, why don't you (or anyone) do what feels right for you, and not be so worried about the rest. After all, if they were "real friends," they would be there no matter what.
I have friends I haven't seen in years but just one phone call, and they're right there with me.