Slacker

Being around people who are involved in so many campus organizations, are actively influencing the course of university life, and are applying for (and likely to get into) international summer programs makes me feel so inferior and insignificant.

I wish I had their drive.

I wish I had their ambition.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard not to when I'm surrounded by people who I know are destined for greatness beyond what I could ever be capable of.

I should have expected this when I entered a Top-20 university, but despite my best efforts, I still feel like a nobody in a world of all-stars. I annoys me especially badly since based on my circumstances I think I shouldn't feel this way. I'm the first person in my family to attend anything other than a community or state college, and I intend to be the first person to go to graduate school in a few years. Considering my dad's a college dropout and my mom never finished high school, everything I've learned in psych and sociology says that the fact I am where I am makes me a statistical anomaly. I should be proud, but instead I feel average at best.

I want to change the world, give myself a name in the realm of big business, and do so much more, but even my lofty dreams are being eclipsed by those who have just as, if not more ambitious dreams than I do.