In Response to "An Open Letter"
"In Response: It’s not like I didn’t realize that there were people also celebrating American morale and all that jazz. And yes, there were choruses of the Star Spangled Banner at the White House as well. I was there too and I saw as well. I’m not blind, deaf, or dumb to not realize that there are two sides to any matter and there are multiple opinions/takes on any matter. I saw other responses to the scene in , cliche as it might be (it’s also the only place we can legally put anything up). I saw both positive and negative responses to the boxes and to be honest, I didn’t really care what responses we were getting. People will be people and they will feel whatever the fuck they want to.
And yes, the intent was vague. What to do? It was a slapdash thing that formed in the hands of others, not even me. Sure, I ordered the boxes and I did want to make something, but I wasn’t out to make a political statement of any kind. Nobody saw the process behind what happened but it happened like this:Three kids, too many cardboard boxes. One kid (me) wanted to make art. Simple as that. I had no message other than the desire to share something close to me and it’s that feeling I get when I make something I deem beautiful. It’s a feeling, an essence, it has no voice, meaning, or qualification. The other kid wanted to make art and wanted the adventure. Another simple motive, and that’s the thing about art - it’s not about politicizing an image or a word, it’s about PASSION. It’s something essential.
The third kid wanted to say something loud and shout it over the rooftops. This last kid came over to my room just as I was in a discussion with a mutual friend about the reactions to Osama’s death, and how we both weren’t happy how SOME people were reacting to it (not all, I do realize that global statements are always false). He joined in the conversation and his passion took him away. A different kind of passion than ours. He wanted this project to be about the negative reactions. Before I even knew it he had called up his friend who was going to put up posters anyway on the matter, and hours later, we were all working together on something that I hadn’t pictured at all. I don’t deem those boxes to be art. There was nothing artistic about it and it was far from being my baby - I already said that. I was just there with my boxes and my spray paint and my tape and was roped into putting out a message that I agreed upon but wasn’t necessarily something I felt that needed to be gotten out. I already saw that there were people who could see both sides of the spectrum, too. I also knew that things couldn’t necessarily be changed, and it’s not as if an ambiguous clump of boxes could do it justice. There are too many gaps and exclusions in the discourse to portray the picture as it ought to be. But, isn’t that how it always is with anything? Gaps and gray areas, ripe for misinterpretation and misunderstandings. Kind of like how you interpreted my motives and actions, dear.
Yes, I ordered boxes that were essentially free, but they are NOT paid for by taxpayer dollars. Perhaps you would like to do some research before you toss accusations. This is from the USPS site:
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[http://www.usps.com/communications/newsroom/postalfacts.htm]
A service that they cannot afford? I think not. The reason they have this service is BECAUSE they can afford it.
Let’s talk shit on the artist now, right? I didn’t even get to make art, and thus the artist is not involved. Even want to talk shit on the message that was put out? It was the free speech zone and everyone has a right to have their opinions heard if they so wish to put them out - my friends wanted to say something and I helped them out. I agreed with some of the things that they said AND NOT ALL (as I also explained) but just because I happened to help them say it doesn’t mean that I automatically am implicated. I don’t like shouting my opinions from rooftops, I tend to keep them to myself, or at least, obscure them so that only those with their ears to the ground can hear them (as I said that I like my messages to be abstract). Sue me because I like to help, sue me because I enjoy working in the dark of the night and doing things that get my heart pounding. Sue me for being there and wanting to feel alive, to feel involved in something raw, and human, and flawed.
I’m no truth-bearer. I’m just a person with opinions and desires and emotions. My opinions were not exactly portrayed in that collaborative effort (there was more than one person’s opinion in that, and not all agreed) and my desires were not even carried out. My emotions? Well, like I said before, they were satisfied. I wasn’t ecstatic since I didn’t get what I want, but satisfaction has nothing to do with elation.
You’re a nice guy and all, but do me a favor and next time you have a problem about something I do, say it to my face. Maybe just reading my blog and seeing my pictures that I put up isn’t enough, because oftentimes I don’t take the time to write out everything. Oftentimes, I say these things in my head and keep it to myself because I hadn’t thought it would be necessary to defend my honor.
Honestly, I’m insulted. INSULTED I tell you, from the very core of my essence. You’ve turned this into something political and very black and white, and I resent that. We’ve been good friends and I would have liked to think that you’d realize by now that there’s a little more to me. Your entire post gets at the core of the issue, that yes there are two sides, but I do realize that. My opinions were only on that half of the people that didn’t see the two sides. So we’re basically on the same terms of the matter. A response is usually to something that we deem is problematic, not to the things that people are doing right, anyway.
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I don’t really know why I’m bothering to respond to this. I’ll just say it to your face, too, tomorrow. I think this is good to put up in text for you so you can understand how much you’ve offended me, because I’m not going to say that to your face. You have no right to make blanket statements about art or artists, or what they do or why they do it. Don’t try to confine me within some narrow labels as an insensitive, selfish artist, blind to reality.
I’m a little fucking more than that. "
My Response:
I really do hope you realize I wasn't directly trying to insult you or make any blanket statement about artists. My own friends who I care about dearly made those remarks, and I have no right as to try and say what they believe is right or wrong. Anyways, I said I would share some of /their/ views on the project, and NEVER did I once say that they expressed my OWN views. Maybe things got confusing due to how I incorporated the quotes, blame my writing style, it’s as casual and as far from elegant as it comes.
The matter of the fact is that I became involved in that discussion only after one of my friends got upset, and if you would care to actually read the long list of comments left, I tried to actually defend your own position by trying to explain it wasn't some black and white protest to the killing of Bin Laden that my friends happened to believe when he came across the boxes. If you feel insulted because you thought that I was trying to aim some attack at you personally or artists in general, then I pity the fact that you let your own blind rage prevent you from seeing I was just passing on their responses, nothing more.
I will apologize for not knowing the full back story of the project and attributing it to you exclusively. Given the extent of my knowledge I should not have assumed what I had. But I will repeat, never once did I intend to insult you or anyone in particular. If I expected anyone in would have been able to see past this, I would have expected that to be you, but I guess we're in the same boat when it came to misinterpreting each others actions.
Separately, would you like to know why I bit my tongue about the boxes? It's because if living in a household where bickering and arguments are the norm has taught me one thing, it's that sometimes, things are better left unspoken. Do you realize how tired I am of having to listen to stories of my parents arguing back and forth from my aunts? There have been times when I honestly DREAD the thought of having to go home in a few weeks. So you know what, when I heard you ordered 500 boxes from USPS, yeah, I was irked by that, but in the grand scheme of things, I couldn't honestly give a crap about it. So I said nothing. However, I needed somewhere to share some thoughts where I felt I could be completely open about things I would not talk about in person, so I turned to my blog. Obviously, maybe I can't be completely open as long as people I know don't realize that I use my blog for venting are reading my scribblings. You extol free speech, well, what I said on my blog was exactly that, my opinion plain and open. If you’re upset, well I’m sorry then. If you’re going to let this honestly trivial matter built on a misshapen mound of misattributed beliefs and me blowing off some steam in what I assumed to be a private domain take down our friendship, well, then I don’t know what to say, hun.
You said you want to talk, sure, I'm 100% behind that. Talking behind computer screens will never lead to any resolution. I’ll be back on campus around 3 today. I look forward to trying to work things out.
By the way, you should know that a business that has already borrowed over $10 billion in treasury loans and is nearing its $15B limit, has reported multi-billion dollar losses consistently for the many years, has been resorting to cutting service in addition to the over 105,000 full time workers it has already laid off in a desperate attempt to reduce operating costs obviously can’t afford to provide a service where it expects its supplies to be used to generate revenue through postage, only to find that those supplies are not to be used in the way they were intended. Those boxes were only “free” because they expect you to fill them, pay money for postage stamps and so they can get the money from that and ship your stuff. So let’s say $10 shipping revenue from each box times 500 boxes, there we have $5000 in lost revenue, and that was being conservative. Oh, regarding that government line of credit, guess who indirectly ends up helping fund it? Taxpayers. Finally, for the icing on the cake, let’s not forget the over $90B in unfunded pensions, health insurance and other liabilities that it owes to workers and other parties. The Postal Service is broke, hun.
