Tuesday, May 31, 2011

That Moment When #1

Fan of...

That moment when someone unexpected pays you an unexpected compliment and you’re like…

That moment when someone unexpected pays you an unexpected compliment and you’re like…

...except I would just get all flustered, turn red and be all embarassed and Asian about it. (Asians know what I mean when I say that)

*reblogged from morefrenchlessrunning.tumblr.com, who reblogged it from -imstillyours.tumblr.com*



Sunday, May 29, 2011


Everyone seems to be so mad today, so flustered and never satisfied with their lives. Yesterday we had a customer who came in wanting to return a gift she had received and blew a massive hissy fit when we asked her for an ID as per store policy. She complained incessantly about how it was gross invasion of privacy and then when we said we could only give her a store credit, she said she hated the company and would never shop at it again, I swore her hooker-like black eyeliner was going to melt off her wrinkly "I hate my desk job" face.

It's not just people like her, however, that seem to need to adjust their outlook on life a little. The vast majority of people need to stop feeling that the world is constantly working against them and to focus on what they do have rather than what they don't have. I had some great conversations with one of my coworkers tonight; we'll call her Alice. Alice is an older woman, she loves spending time with her grandchildren, gardening and staying active. After the generic questions of "so where do you go to school?" and various questions about my family, we got to talking about more general things.

Alice is a genuinely easy person to talk to; she has this strange quality about her once her quirkiness and exuberance for simple, everyday things mellows. It was 6PM and I still had about three and half hours until we closed; usually I'd be bored out of my mind, but somehow talking with her made time just fly by. It wasn't like we were talking about anything truly exciting, we talked about her garden, how she tries to stay active and harbours a vendetta against Metrobus. She also hates doctors since all they do is make people pop pills to placate their whining. She prides herself in having no major health issues, no high blood pressure or cholesterol and no heart disease, her only problem is a knee which has been a little bothersome which she just blames on wear and tear (she's 64). But one thing she says is her way of staying healthy is that she maintains a positive outlook on life. She doesn't have mountains of riches or anything like that, just satisfaction with what she has, her kids, her home, her health and that she doesn't intend to stop learning and exploring the world around her even after she retires. Finally, one thing she says has kept her as young as she has is that she loves to laugh and smile. "Everybody is so angry all the time, it drives me mad!"

I have to agree with Alice about that; people do need to stop looking at what they lack and what they see as shortcomings about themselves and see what's great about them. Nobody is perfect and expecting perfection every time will only lead to pain when your goals aren't met. While I don't suggest lowering one's standards, I do think people need to learn from their mistakes and simply remember them when they move on and try again the next time. Yeah, I admit all of that sounds hopelessly optimistic, but for the majority of people, I think they should give themselves more credit than they do.

So yeah, sorry I hadn't written in a while, things have just been chugging along pretty calmly since I got home. I'm working part time in MD and am looking for a second job as well to supplement that. Other than that, I'm just taking it easy and reconnecting with friends. I've already met up with Ms. X and a few other people; I really missed them. Well, I hope things are going well in your neck of the woods.

Here's some music to sorta make up for the prolonged absence.

Kap Slap - Till Silvia Saves The World (Swedish House Mafia, Britney Spears and Miike Snow mashup)

This dude rocks, I have a bunch of his songs on my ipod and you can find more of his stuff on his Youtube channel.

Keep it real,


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Employ Me!

Working in Maryland part-time now, looking for a second job in Virginia to also work part-time in on top of the one in MD.

Applying for jobs all day, err'day.

What has my life come to?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

You Dress Like a Prostitute

If I had a dollar for every time somebody has asked me and Maria whether we were together or going out, I'd be able to pay for four years of college, grad school, buy a Volvo, and then have change left over for a nice dinner for two.

Yeah, we're soul mates, but I'm gay and after knowing each other for so long, it would pretty much be incest if we were together. Instead we've developed multiple inside jokes and can make so many lewd, sexual remarks towards each other that it's just funny and no longer offensive...because really uncomfortable looks from eavesdropping strangers is the true mark of friendship, no?

So, Maria, you drrrress...like a Prrrrostitute. (and that's the truth)

Love ya always,


P.S. - Don't let that high school senior get anywhere near you at work, open a can of whoop-ass if necessary.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Summer 2011

When I was walking across the stage at my high school graduation, I could only think about how quickly my senior year just flew by. I could still remember clearly my first day back, seeing everyone again after two months of break and preparing for that final push before college apps were due. Now that I've finished my freshman year of college, I can't help of feel the exact same way.

I remember my first class ever was International Business with Professor P, he was a hilarious exchange professor who spoke fast with a heavy Spanish accent and a go-easy but you-will-learn-quickly teaching style. He turned out to be one of my favorite professors of the year, for being so friendly and personable, plus his easy as fuck final helps his cause too. The rest of my professors were all pretty good, no one can be singled out as "bad" or "fantastic" for that matter, but given some of the horror stories I've heard from my friends at other schools, I can't complain. Also, with final grades for the semester finally in, I can report that second semester has not damaged my GPA and it shall remain steady for the time being, good enough for me.

I've made some great friends too this past year, and I'll miss seeing them over the summer but it's good to know that we'll be back together come Fall. In the mean time I'll be sharing stories with friends as they all begin to come back home. Stories about classes, parties, romance or the lack thereof and other things from our first year of college are high on the list of things we've all been waiting to gather and talk about.

In addition to relaxing I'm also working this summer; Maria hooked me up with a job over in Maryland where she will also be working once or twice a week. I can say it's a retail job but I won't be going any further than that. This will be my first real job ever so I'm pretty excited. I can finally make some money and maybe start get myself that pair of Sperry Top Siders I've been eying and a cheap project car later on. In July my parents, aunt and cousin will be heading out on a 16 day Northern European vacation/cruise but I decided to opt out. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for over two weeks off, and while going to Sweden and Scandinavia has been a dream of mine for quite a while now, I'd rather put it on hold and go when I'm actually relaxed and after all the family drama is worked out. Instead, I'll work, workout and enjoy being in familiar surroundings again, that is unless I decide to take an impromptu road trip which is an idea I've been tossing around the past few days.

Despite the whole Eurotrip bummer, I do hope to travel a little bit. I've talked to M though and our mutual friend's parents have a beach house up in Jersey they'd be willing to let us use some time this summer which is cool. Also, Maria's parents have a timeshare down in Orlando they've already booked that me, Maria and a potentially a few other friends might take advantage of and go to Disney for a week. I think the last time I went to Disney was when I was in middle school so that would be brilliant if the logistics of the whole thing could be worked out. That would be the hurdle with most plans, while everything sounds great in concept, actually making things happen is another story, we'll see.

So yeah, compared to previous years of exploring the world and such, this will look to be a pretty grounded, quaint three months. I think it will be for the better in the end, after a whirlwind year, I could use the feeling of stability, of solidarity that is hard to come by on a college campus where everyone seems to be just running around searching for things to do, like bees on the constant hunt for more flowers to make golden honey. I'm hoping to be surprised this summer though, I hope something, or someone will take my life on a detour and show me something new and exciting. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me, yet I'm also nervous; huh, funny how that works, eh?

All the best,


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Freshman No More

I decide to swim in the fountain after my final accounting exam and slip and nearly smash my head open on solid granite due to a failed running-start attempt. Oh exam gods, I'll be sure to temper my excitement next time.

Move out went well, lots of hugging, lots of wishing well, and after getting to Maryland and my dad's house, lots of Chinese food. Oh how I have missed those flavours.

Sorry for the shortness of this post but I'm busy and wanted to quickly post an update. I promise I'll be doing a reflection in the near future.

I don't surf....

Goodbye freshman year, hello summer 2011.

All the best,


Friday, May 13, 2011


I posted this on my school's version of Post Secret and it many more responses than I expected it would. It was interesting to read what other people had to say though, and kind of reassuring too.



Posted May 9, 2011 at 3:58 pm


I used to think that way. Then I realized that “gayer” acting guys are actually a lot more secure with themselves, which I find really sexy.


Posted May 9, 2011 at 4:42 pm

The coveted “straight” gay guy. Well looks can be deceiving. I can be a pretty gay guy, but I love sitting in my sweat pants and going to hooters with my boyfriend for beer and wings. Sometimes people surprise you.



Posted May 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm


Agreed, “gayer” guys aren’t necessarily more secure. A lot of the ones I know are LESS secure, they feel they have to do all these things and dress a certain way and not eat enough just because they’re gay. Guys who are comfortable with their masculinity and their sexuality are HOT.

Posted May 10, 2011 at 11:30 am


Certainly a tough thing to find, but there are plenty of us sports loving gays out there. Keep your head up and it all works out eventually!


Posted May 10, 2011 at 4:39 pm


Go to Nellie’s. It’s a gay sports bar after all :p


Posted May 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm


Thats me, and I thought there were no guys who were looking for something like that


Posted May 10, 2011 at 11:25 pm


To: “That’s me”
There’s tons of us out there who are looking for “yous”

And now I need to find some of these people.....

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Bloody finals just won't end!


**correction: I just got back to my dorm...it's 6:29 and the sun is rising. Yay allnighter?

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Click to Enlarge

It's like I'm not gay enough for them sometimes.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Head West

Sometimes I drift off into some fantasy while I'm studying for finals and imagine myself saying "fuck it", tossing my books in the corner, jumping into a Mustang Convertible (5.0, manual, always.) and just driving west.

I wouldn't stopping for anything; I would just looking forward towards the horizon, reveling in the mystery of it all. I'll feel the small knot in my stomach from not knowing what lies around the next corner, over the next hill and through the next tunnel, craving that feeling more and more, searching for a new side road to explore.

I would drive until the tank runs dry and then until I run out of money and can't pay for any more gas. I would feel the sun on my skin, the wind brushing my hair and the sound of a big V8 under the hood. It's marriage of man and machine at its finest.

Then after imagining all of this I would snap back into reality and see that I don't have a Mustang, I don't have the money, I don't have the ability to be carefree like that, at least not now. It's not even because finals are in full swing, it's because I have more important things to concentrate on in my life. Schoolwork for one, but also helping to care for my family and being there for my mom. I told her I wasn't getting a job because I needed to contribute to the family finances, that was a half-lie. I want to be less of a burden on her, she has enough to worry about with my grandpa and dad and all. I need a job to be more financially independent but also because my main goal this summer is to make enough money to buy my mom a laptop for her birthday.

Every year I would get her roses, a card, something small, but all along she really has deserved more. She's been wanting a laptop for a while now, but spending hundreds of dollars just isn't in the picture for her. I don't care if I do end up working in the produce department of a supermarket six days a week to do this, but I've made a promise to myself that by August, I will have a big wrapped box waiting on her desk when she wakes up.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Job! (Maybe)

I just got a phone interview from one of the three places I applied to for a job this summer. There is hope!

Good karma is coming around.


3 2 1

In Response to "An Open Letter"

"In Response: It’s not like I didn’t realize that there were people also celebrating American morale and all that jazz. And yes, there were choruses of the Star Spangled Banner at the White House as well. I was there too and I saw as well. I’m not blind, deaf, or dumb to not realize that there are two sides to any matter and there are multiple opinions/takes on any matter. I saw other responses to the scene in , cliche as it might be (it’s also the only place we can legally put anything up). I saw both positive and negative responses to the boxes and to be honest, I didn’t really care what responses we were getting. People will be people and they will feel whatever the fuck they want to.
And yes, the intent was vague. What to do? It was a slapdash thing that formed in the hands of others, not even me. Sure, I ordered the boxes and I did want to make something, but I wasn’t out to make a political statement of any kind. Nobody saw the process behind what happened but it happened like this:Three kids, too many cardboard boxes. One kid (me) wanted to make art. Simple as that. I had no message other than the desire to share something close to me and it’s that feeling I get when I make something I deem beautiful. It’s a feeling, an essence, it has no voice, meaning, or qualification. The other kid wanted to make art and wanted the adventure. Another simple motive, and that’s the thing about art - it’s not about politicizing an image or a word, it’s about PASSION. It’s something essential.
The third kid wanted to say something loud and shout it over the rooftops. This last kid came over to my room just as I was in a discussion with a mutual friend about the reactions to Osama’s death, and how we both weren’t happy how SOME people were reacting to it (not all, I do realize that global statements are always false). He joined in the conversation and his passion took him away. A different kind of passion than ours. He wanted this project to be about the negative reactions. Before I even knew it he had called up his friend who was going to put up posters anyway on the matter, and hours later, we were all working together on something that I hadn’t pictured at all. I don’t deem those boxes to be art. There was nothing artistic about it and it was far from being my baby - I already said that. I was just there with my boxes and my spray paint and my tape and was roped into putting out a message that I agreed upon but wasn’t necessarily something I felt that needed to be gotten out. I already saw that there were people who could see both sides of the spectrum, too. I also knew that things couldn’t necessarily be changed, and it’s not as if an ambiguous clump of boxes could do it justice. There are too many gaps and exclusions in the discourse to portray the picture as it ought to be. But, isn’t that how it always is with anything? Gaps and gray areas, ripe for misinterpretation and misunderstandings. Kind of like how you interpreted my motives and actions, dear.

Yes, I ordered boxes that were essentially free, but they are NOT paid for by taxpayer dollars. Perhaps you would like to do some research before you toss accusations. This is from the USPS site:

A service that they cannot afford? I think not. The reason they have this service is BECAUSE they can afford it.
Let’s talk shit on the artist now, right? I didn’t even get to make art, and thus the artist is not involved. Even want to talk shit on the message that was put out? It was the free speech zone and everyone has a right to have their opinions heard if they so wish to put them out - my friends wanted to say something and I helped them out. I agreed with some of the things that they said AND NOT ALL (as I also explained) but just because I happened to help them say it doesn’t mean that I automatically am implicated. I don’t like shouting my opinions from rooftops, I tend to keep them to myself, or at least, obscure them so that only those with their ears to the ground can hear them (as I said that I like my messages to be abstract). Sue me because I like to help, sue me because I enjoy working in the dark of the night and doing things that get my heart pounding. Sue me for being there and wanting to feel alive, to feel involved in something raw, and human, and flawed.
I’m no truth-bearer. I’m just a person with opinions and desires and emotions. My opinions were not exactly portrayed in that collaborative effort (there was more than one person’s opinion in that, and not all agreed) and my desires were not even carried out. My emotions? Well, like I said before, they were satisfied. I wasn’t ecstatic since I didn’t get what I want, but satisfaction has nothing to do with elation.
You’re a nice guy and all, but do me a favor and next time you have a problem about something I do, say it to my face. Maybe just reading my blog and seeing my pictures that I put up isn’t enough, because oftentimes I don’t take the time to write out everything. Oftentimes, I say these things in my head and keep it to myself because I hadn’t thought it would be necessary to defend my honor.
Honestly, I’m insulted. INSULTED I tell you, from the very core of my essence. You’ve turned this into something political and very black and white, and I resent that. We’ve been good friends and I would have liked to think that you’d realize by now that there’s a little more to me. Your entire post gets at the core of the issue, that yes there are two sides, but I do realize that. My opinions were only on that half of the people that didn’t see the two sides. So we’re basically on the same terms of the matter. A response is usually to something that we deem is problematic, not to the things that people are doing right, anyway.
I don’t really know why I’m bothering to respond to this. I’ll just say it to your face, too, tomorrow. I think this is good to put up in text for you so you can understand how much you’ve offended me, because I’m not going to say that to your face. You have no right to make blanket statements about art or artists, or what they do or why they do it. Don’t try to confine me within some narrow labels as an insensitive, selfish artist, blind to reality.
I’m a little fucking more than that. "

My Response:

I really do hope you realize I wasn't directly trying to insult you or make any blanket statement about artists. My own friends who I care about dearly made those remarks, and I have no right as to try and say what they believe is right or wrong. Anyways, I said I would share some of /their/ views on the project, and NEVER did I once say that they expressed my OWN views. Maybe things got confusing due to how I incorporated the quotes, blame my writing style, it’s as casual and as far from elegant as it comes.

The matter of the fact is that I became involved in that discussion only after one of my friends got upset, and if you would care to actually read the long list of comments left, I tried to actually defend your own position by trying to explain it wasn't some black and white protest to the killing of Bin Laden that my friends happened to believe when he came across the boxes. If you feel insulted because you thought that I was trying to aim some attack at you personally or artists in general, then I pity the fact that you let your own blind rage prevent you from seeing I was just passing on their responses, nothing more.

I will apologize for not knowing the full back story of the project and attributing it to you exclusively. Given the extent of my knowledge I should not have assumed what I had. But I will repeat, never once did I intend to insult you or anyone in particular. If I expected anyone in would have been able to see past this, I would have expected that to be you, but I guess we're in the same boat when it came to misinterpreting each others actions.

Separately, would you like to know why I bit my tongue about the boxes? It's because if living in a household where bickering and arguments are the norm has taught me one thing, it's that sometimes, things are better left unspoken. Do you realize how tired I am of having to listen to stories of my parents arguing back and forth from my aunts? There have been times when I honestly DREAD the thought of having to go home in a few weeks. So you know what, when I heard you ordered 500 boxes from USPS, yeah, I was irked by that, but in the grand scheme of things, I couldn't honestly give a crap about it. So I said nothing. However, I needed somewhere to share some thoughts where I felt I could be completely open about things I would not talk about in person, so I turned to my blog. Obviously, maybe I can't be completely open as long as people I know don't realize that I use my blog for venting are reading my scribblings. You extol free speech, well, what I said on my blog was exactly that, my opinion plain and open. If you’re upset, well I’m sorry then. If you’re going to let this honestly trivial matter built on a misshapen mound of misattributed beliefs and me blowing off some steam in what I assumed to be a private domain take down our friendship, well, then I don’t know what to say, hun.

You said you want to talk, sure, I'm 100% behind that. Talking behind computer screens will never lead to any resolution. I’ll be back on campus around 3 today. I look forward to trying to work things out.

By the way, you should know that a business that has already borrowed over $10 billion in treasury loans and is nearing its $15B limit, has reported multi-billion dollar losses consistently for the many years, has been resorting to cutting service in addition to the over 105,000 full time workers it has already laid off in a desperate attempt to reduce operating costs obviously can’t afford to provide a service where it expects its supplies to be used to generate revenue through postage, only to find that those supplies are not to be used in the way they were intended. Those boxes were only “free” because they expect you to fill them, pay money for postage stamps and so they can get the money from that and ship your stuff. So let’s say $10 shipping revenue from each box times 500 boxes, there we have $5000 in lost revenue, and that was being conservative. Oh, regarding that government line of credit, guess who indirectly ends up helping fund it? Taxpayers. Finally, for the icing on the cake, let’s not forget the over $90B in unfunded pensions, health insurance and other liabilities that it owes to workers and other parties. The Postal Service is broke, hun.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

An Open Letter

If you're reading this ________, I feel I should pass along some responses to your box project from last night. I saw your pictures from last night's art project; I know of your motives, your reasoning and the questions you hoped to raise, yet I'm in the minority in posessing this knowledge. As a side-note, your choice of location was fitting, the free speech center of campus was the smart albeit cliché choice. Granted, I haven't ventured over but I know of plenty of people who have. Your bloody corpses, soldiers and civilians are definitely causing a stir and people are stopping to look, but beneath all the curious glances is a sizable amount of people who are quite upset and enraged. You probably were hoping to incite some outcry from the campus community; the purpose of art is often to do just that, to make people think, experience strong emotions, et cetera. If you haven't heard some responses already, here's one. 

"to the jackasses who laid out the boxes resembling corpses and put up the "Don't Shoot I'm human" signs in Red Square: go put your little "art exhibit" up in New York City. Come on...do it. I DARE you. Let's see what they think."   -J

I'm all for expressing one's views through whatever creative means one chooses, but sometimes I feel there is a time and a place. Yes, I questioned the morality and ethics of celebrating a death, but beyond that, it should be realized that we aren't simply celebrating a death, but there are rather many more implications as well.

"Now, let me qualify one thing—We were not celebrating the end of a human life; rather, we were celebrating the end of this man’s grip on American morale.  Our inability to capture or even find this man had a major, negative effect on both civilian and military morale.  With the mission carried out by the brave Navy Seals in Pakistan, we not only ended this, but proved to the world that if you are responsible for the mass murder of 3000 innocent citizens of our nation, you will pay for it.  Hundreds of college students gathered together in front of the White House last night, bursting out into the Star Spangled Banner, carrying flags, and chanting “Thank You, Troops” over and over again.  It was an incredible feeling of togetherness and coming together as Americans that I will never forget...

...I wish people could look behind the physical actions of this to the more symbolic implications. But if all someone sees in that rally in front of the White House was rejoicing at the end of a human life, then he or she has grievously misunderstood or ignored the fact that this man, who has been public enemy number one for most of our conscious memory (for those of us who are eighteen or thereabouts) is no more, that this man, who supported and publicly encouraged the slaughter of 3000 innocent people on our own soil, is no more. The liberal in me wishes we could have taken him alive, but I also recognize the importance of this symbolism."    -V

Even if the idea of questioning the morals of celebrating a death, questions and concerns still arise.

" I think I agree with you in their intent, but they clearly fail at making any kind of statement because their intent is so vague. If they're protesting the actual killing, I don't have words to describe my reaction"   -H

I'd be the first person to shout out that there are always two sides to every argument, point of view and belief. Like night and day, salty and sweet, good and evil, you can never have one without the other. Congratulations on achieving your goals and creating the art you love to your core. I'm also glad to see you found a use for those USPS boxes, but I must express my views on one thing which I am less supportive of.

I hope you're happy about spending taxpayer money to help fund your project and essentially stealing your supplies as well. Those boxes are not free like you claim. They have a purpose, what you are doing is wasting them if anything. If you want to do anything like this again, I suggest you buy them yourself, it's wasteful to spend the money others. In addition, please no bullshit about "it only cost $10 to produce those boxes". The time, manufacturing, processing, shipping, printing and human labour costs that all have been put to null for the purpose of "art" is not acceptable no matter the price. Be courteous to the USPS and the people who help fund it, namely us through the treasury loans that they have to take out because they are already in dire financial straits. They have already laid off thousands, are planning to further cut services and raise prices because they can barely stay afloat. What you were doing is taking advantage of a service they cannot afford in the first place, ordering 500 boxes is rubbing salt into the wound at its core. If you want to be a true artist, spend your own money to buy your supplies. If the money isn't there, I suggest waiting until the means come along.

Voila, my five cents on that. Are my concerns impertinent in the grand scheme of things? maybe. Is my business school persona showing itself? probably. Am I trying to be the friend who just wants to look out for others. definitely.

Don't let others tell you who you are, but be sure to be a responsible individual in a world where the concepts of responsibility and social riotousness are deteriorating at an unsettling rate.


12:30AM Run to the White House, nbd

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past 24 hours, you should know that Osama Bin Laden is dead, or as Fox News put it on their website for a good 30 minutes "Usama Bin Landen Dead Fox News Confrims". Now the beauty of going to school in DC is that at 12:30AM I have the ability to go for a late night run to the White House for a massive rally. Plenty of patriotic songs were sung as were chants of "U-S-A" were shouted that night; plus, I probably ended up on at least 3 news reels.

Here are some pictures

So yeah, pretty intense night, plus I got a nice run out of it. I will say it is rather strange to be celebrating the death of an individual, especially thinking that they were doing the exact same after the attacks in 2001. I'm not saying that people shouldn't celebrate, it is excellent news, but just because Bin Laden is dead doesn't mean the terrorists are going to fall apart. His role was likely minimal and symbolic if anything, their resolve to inflict more damage will only be greater now. It's actually rather scary if you think about it.

Nevertheless, this is something that Americans should feel proud of and hopefully this will help provide closure for many of the 9/11 families across the globe.

Today also marks the last day of classes of the semester and now begins my study period before finals begin next week. I'm going to start moving my stuff home soon and begin to live like a hermit in my room as 24 hour quiet hours are now in place. Damn, my first year in college is almost done. Time flies, time flies.

All the best,


Sunday, May 1, 2011