Welcome to DC, Please Use Your Eyes.

It's weird going into Washington D.C. as a local. As the capital of the USA you'd imagine it's a big deal, and it is for most people. But as anyone who has lived in DC or it's suburbs, all the District reminds you of is traffic, rude tourists, stupid tourists, people who clog up the Metro and those who lack city-skills altogether (oh, and the center of government, nice nightlife, and pretty monuments jazz in the background). Seriously, apart from political gridlock, the most you hear about DC in the local news is that another person has gotten shot in Southeast.

Sounds pretty grim and unbelievable, but everything I just mentioned can be bundled together in what happened at the Smithsonian Folk Life Festival. Now if you don't know what it is (and unless you live here you probably don't) please do read my last post to get the gist of the whole thing. I met my friends at the local metro stop and boarded the orange line to get to the national mall. The metro here runs the same way as in most major cities; we use cards to gain access to the train station just like most major cities, but people don't seem to figure it out. As me and my friends went through the gates, a group of New Jersey tourists next to were baffled by the card machine and a backlog had formed behind them. They were arguing over whether you put the card in on the top or side and which side faces where. Okay, the cards are labeled "this side up" and the machines are clearly marked as to where you put them in people, it's essentially tourist proof. By the time we made it down the escalator the dad of the group was throwing a quiet tantrum at his family and the teenage daughter was looking off into the sky wondering why the hell she's related to them. Lord have mercy! Commuters hate it when students use the metro, well, maybe I found a group that can irk them even more throughly. Stupid tourists? check.

By 11:30 we arrive on the National Mall where the festival takes place and the it's already packed. Mexico was to our left and Asia was to our right and the day was gorgeous. The only slight problem is that because it hasn't rained recently the ground has gotten slightly dry and since the trails along the sides of the mall are essentially dirt with some pebbles thrown in for fun, it can get rather dusty. Cue the dust busting water spray trucks- from time to time these glorious machines work there way down the paths and douse the ground with water to keep the dust from going airborne. You have plenty of warning when these things come rumbling down, the drivers (probably the most patient people you'll ever meet) honk at you and people begin to swarm towards the sides of the path...well, most people. I had to pleasure of watching a woman get soaked from the spray because she didn't bother to move to the side despite looking straight on at the approaching truck. She then had the nerve to go yell at the driver for getting her wet, his response? "Use your eyes next time" I almost lost it at that point. Stupid and city-skill lacking tourists? check.

Later as we sat on the steps of the Smithsonian, me and my two friends suddenly found ourselves surrounded by a group of GYLC kids exiting the museum. (So GYLC is a program that charges you loads of moolah to take you to places like DC, NY etc. but doesn't help you get into college and stuff, I know, I've been invited to that program before). We sat awkwardly as they talked loudly about how special they were that they were visiting Washington as part of the "Global Youth Leaders Conference", probably only because we were the only ones in sight that weren't wearing one of the badges around our necks. After their banter got tiring, we got up and left. In response to that annoying girl standing in front of us wearing an outfit that made her look like a $10 office secretary hooker- Girl, we live here, meaning we didn't spend $2000+ to to see a bunch of free museums and a free outdoor event, now get your attitude and fake blond hair back to Grand Rapids, Michigan and don't get lost on the metro on the way (on the other hand, please do get lost and wind up in Anacostia, then we'll see what happens). Rude, think-they're-so-special tourists? check.

By the end of the visit, we began to head back home. GYLC kids and slow tourists having annoyed me enough, one last test remained before I could enjoy some peace and quiet. As we descended down the escalators a loud voice was shouted "God dam it, move people" behind us. Joy of joys, it's frat boy and friends. Given that we too were stuck behind people and that I refuse to move for people who fail at life, I stood there unmoving and eventually we get off at the bottom just in time to hear "Fucking slow assholes, move when I tell you too" Hah, right. Frat boy and gang run towards their blue line train just as the doors close in their faces and pull away from the station. Bahaha, KARMA, BITCH. I love it when things work out like that. Rude people again? double check.

-to be fair, on the way home, the orange line train broke down and we ended up stuck in Rosslyn for a while before the next train came along, oh the joys of metro-

So, please do come visit DC, just remember a few simple ground rules. 1. Use your eyes 2. Don't make the commuters angry, you'll lose 3. Be courteous to us, and we'll be courteous to you 4. Ben's Chili Bowl will always be crowded, get over it and 5. Try not make a fool of yourself or you'll end up in the blogs of many a DC native like this one.

All the best and happy fourth of July,

JP

-Oh, and if you haven't already, please do check out the blog of fellow DC resident DC Cised

Cheap Perfume

Nothing too much to talk about so I guess I'll do a brief update.

On the Roommate search front, "Interesting guy" has stopped talking to me because (at least I think) , you guessed it, I told him I was gay. *sigh*. So most of the other guys I've contacted haven't responded even to my first message so I'll assume that they've might have already found a roommate or that they're just not using the CHARMS matching system. There is one guy I talked to and responded back, "eclectic gay" responded back to my first message. He was away on a trip or something which limited his Internet capabilities which explains why he took a while to respond back. I messaged him back with a few questions and stuff but he still hasn't responded back which has be worried slightly but whatever.

I'm headed off to the Smithsonian Folklife Festival tomorrow which is a giant event held on the national mall in front of the Washington Monument which is a celebration of international cultures with an emphasis on Asian cultures, that and a bunch of local things like wineries, local restaurants and craftspeople. I went last year in 90+ degree weather and ended up going home dehydrated and passed out on on my bed for 5 hours until I woke up at 3AM. (sounds fun, eh?)

Sorry I don't have much to talk about, things haven't too interesting unless you find watching youtube videos all day interesting. One thing that did happen to me today though which wasn't particularly pleasant is the little surprise I got at the gym today. I got on to the erg (that evil rowing machine that I love to hate) and there was an elderly lady running on a treadmill next to me, how sweet. Well, I took two strokes and then I noticed something, a smell in the air. It smelled of a mix of really bad B.O. and cheap perfume, like the industrial grade stuff you find at the dollar store. I stopped and smelled myself, I mean, maybe I stepped on some dog crap on the way in or something, well my inspection of myself failed to turn up anything. Then, it hit me, the nauseating odor wasn't form me, it was Ms. Stinky Sally running next to me. Ugh, it was bad, really bad.

Haha, well, I hope everything is going well in your neck of the woods and I hope you enjoy your summer weather (or winter if you're in the Southern Hemisphere).

Ciao,

JP

And the Search Goes On

So I realize I came down as a bit harsh yesterday on the whole "close match" situation. I've checked again today and he hasn't responded back so I think the whole thing is over. I'm not angry in a sense but more frustrated and somewhat upset about the situation. Given what he hold me about his upbringing I guess it would make sense that he would probably be uncomfortable rooming with a gay guy. He seemed like such a nice person and I'm sure he is, so, if I do meet him I hope we can still be friends.

With this, I'm continuing on my search for a roommate. I've contacted three other people and I hope they'll respond back. One of them outright said he was gay in his profile and says he's "eclectic" which I will be asking him to expand on later if he responds but we share a good bit in common so we'll see how it turns out. I labeled him as "eclectic gay" in my CHARMS contacts. The other person I've contacted is a bit more athletic, he plans to get more involved but he seems to be pretty study oriented as well. He wants to go out and explore the city however which I would gladly oblige to do (hey, I'm an area native, it's practically my duty). I nicknamed him "sporty". The final guy I messaged was this really fun sounding guy. He also is rather laid back but he seems to like to have fun and balance that with studying it as well. He's a 6'3" unicycle rider which is freaking awesome. I labeled him as "fun guy"

I know, those are some of the stupidest names of all time but they get the point across and I can easily tell who's who at least.

Well, wish me luck. Hopefully I can avoid a "close match" debacle repeat.

All the best,

JP

I'm Delicious All Over

-don't ask.-

Anyways, I learned five things as a result of my first camping trip yesterday.

1. Bug spray not only keeps bugs away, it makes an excellent flame booster when building a fire.

2. Bring a pillow...or two, a rolled up pair of running pants will not effectively provide any comfort whatsoever.

3. Metal coat hangers are a bit too flimsy to hold a hot dog over a fire, they're excellent for marshmallows however.

4. Don't flirt with the group of hot, young campground managers, it's awkward.

5. If you're going to be the only guy in a tent with four girls, be prepared to talk about past/present crushes, your favorite names, slutty girls from school, pregnant slutty girls from school and the inevitable bringing up of once a month lady-functions (ew.)

I'm convinced Abercrombie guys are stuck in a never ending camping trip

So camping was fun; I made it out alive, and learned I'm an ace when it comes to filling up my car's trunk up to the brim. Sure, it was hot, muggy, dirty and bug infested but hey, who cares, you're effing camping.

Anyways, update on the "Close Match" saga, well he didn't respond to my message in the end. Usually he responds within a day but given he has broken his otherwise perfect on-time performance, I'll take it as "Hey, no, I can't share a room with a queer, and no, I'm not sorry"

Dude, I asked you a fair question, and rather than just leaving a conversation like that, man up and have the balls to actually say it to my face, that way I can at leave still have some tiny fleck on respect for you rather than the absolute lack of any I have right now.

I'll give him one more day, and if he still can't muster a response by then, screw him.

All the best,

JP

"Close Match"

Finding a roommate is normally a random process. If you go to a school where you can request a specific person then power to ya, but part of college is to meet new people, and a roommate is a good place to start.

At my university, there's a roommate matching program that's pretty unique. It's called CHARMS (stands for something, I swear) and it's the official "roommate search/dating service". Humourous description for sure. How it works is that you first fill out a questionnaire about your living preferences like when you like to go to bed, what volume of music you listen to, whether you mind sharing items etc. and then you're given a list of all your top matches.

When I was given my list of top roommates (annonymous, everyone is just a number), I messaged my top match who I nicknamed uncreatively "Close Match". We got to talking and he seems to be a very nice guy. He says he's originally from Arizona and is an outdoorsy type of person despite not having gone backpacking in a few years. We share a lot in common - be both like the same music, have the same sleep patterns and seemingly similar personalities.

As we've talked more, I've learned more about him, he has siblings and was raised a devout Catholic. Today, when I checked my messages I found out he even attended a Jesuit high school and he says his Catholic upbringing has strongly influenced his beliefs. When I heard this I became slightly concerned. You see, there isn't a question on the questionnaire about sexual orientation. I was going to mention that I was gay in the "additional information" section of my profile but I don't want people to judge me based only on that detail from the start so I decided to leave that out.

For some time now, I've been feeling that I'd like to be roommates with Close Match but now that I've learned about his beliefs I felt that it was the right time ot let him know. I guess I came out to him in my last message where I explained that I wasn't the stereotypical gay guy and all that so he wouldn't get uncomfortable if he would in the first place. At the end of my message, I asked him if that would be a deal breaker and if we do become roommates in the end, whether he would respect that or not. He usually responds the next day so I'll end up hoping he responds before I leave for my camping trip tomorrow at 2. Otherwise, I'll have to wait until Saturday and I don't think I'll be able to bear the anticipation if I had to wait until then.

I hope my impression of him as a nice, fair guy holds up because I'd really like Close Match to be my roommate.

All the best,

JP