Sometimes I'm jealous of everything he does. His passion and love for everything he is involved in makes me feel inadequate...
...but that just drives me to push myself harder, to pursue what makes me happy and make myself the best I can be at that craft. It feels odd at times to realize that I say that I desire someone that does things and has passions that differ from mine, yet once I'm with someone who has those qualities, I'm stuck with a feeling that can only be described as the on the border of jealousy and awe. But I guess I just need to work on realizing that I shouldn't be jealous about something just because he can do it while I can't. Sure, I wish I could dance better, lift more, or have the joie de vivre he can display in a heartbeat, but I'm also not going to be someone I'm not.
In some ways, though, I'm still the cooking loving, car crazed, pseudo French speaking, hopeless romantic that I was when I first started this blog now nearly five years ago. It was that dorky and semi awkward wannabe bro he was attracted to when he met me, and he is the sexy, brilliant, and caring stud I fell for. We share enough interests to make things between us real and have enough differences to prove our relationship is not just fleeting.
It's been a while, eh? So what happened exactly? Well, with school starting up, I made a series of promises to myself. First, that I would try and get as much work done as possible ahead of time for classes, second, that I would do all my assigned readings, and third, I would go to the gym as frequently as possible, with an aim for 4x a week. Ever since the end of January happened and classes really kicked into high gear, I realized that Junior year was going to be rough work wise. Unfortunately, in order to keep up with everything, some others things ended up getting neglected, one of which was my blog. Nevertheless, I'm going to try and start writing more again, and that promise begins now.
So since I was last here, lots of stuff has happened. I'll break it down for you:
1. Classes: Classes as I mentioned have been revving up. These next two weeks are going to be rough as midterms start next week and I have papers and all sorts of assignments due this week. For the most part, its just been keeping up with the piles of cases I've had to read and also articles for other classes. My professors for the most part have been really cool. I especially love my business law professor and my other business class professors. One professor however, my anthropology professor, I haven't been so keen about. Her classes are literally all spent on discussion and her going on tangents about her own experiences with little time dedicated to actually teaching the material. As such, I've been left to try and figure things out on my own from the book which is not a style of learning that I do well with. I'm hoping that she spends time to actually review with us before the midterm. Maybe it's just me, but if I'm paying thousands to go to a school, I expect professors to put an effort in to actually teach the material.
2. The Roomies: Everything is going really well with the roomies. My roommate E's girlfriend visits every weekend which is really awesome since we all love her. For Valentine's Day she brought us four dozen cookies which was so awesome in addition to an ice luge and more Wii controllers. Otherwise, my other roommates C and A are also doing well. We're all pretty busy so we hang mostly late at night and on the weekends.
Ice Luge. We drink a lot in this house. I'm not going to lie.
3. Guys: The situation between Brandon and I have cooled a bit in the past few weeks. I think the fact that we don't live near each other (relatively) and that he works and I still go to school puts a hindrance on every being able to see each other. Also, the one time we almost did decide to hang out he bailed last minute which ended up pissing me off. We haven't spoken for almost a week now. I'm pretty sure that I know what he was looking for out of our "relationship" and while it worked over the summer, I think I'm looking for something more. Given that, there is another dude who is in the news. This is a guy who I've known since freshman year and always kinda liked and found attractive, but since he was a year ahead and had a boyfriend at the time I didn't really bother with. A few weeks ago that changed and we ended up chilling at his place after a party we were both at. We hung out a few times after that and come February 13th....
4. Valentine's Day: I asked him out to dinner for Valentine's Day. We ended up getting dinner near campus at an upscale burger place (we agreed that we didn't want something formal). It was cool and we talked a good bit at dinner. He's a senior from New England, about 5'10', blond, slim, and ran track. He's also involved somewhat with the theatre group I'm working with. He's a funny dude, a little awkward at times but otherwise fun to hang out with. He's been gone this weekend for a conference in Nashville but we've been talking every day which is nice and cute of him. At this point I don't know where things might be headed but the feelings are mutual. So who knows, it's a little scary but also pretty exciting.
5. Jobs/Internships: I've been searching and I have a few bookmarked but I haven't had time to start applying truly. I'm looking for marketing and PR style positions and I know I want to stay in the DC area this summer for sure. I'm definitely going to apply to the HRC once their application is released but otherwise, I'd be happy with any company right now. If anyone knows of some good companies to look for internships at, please let me know!
So that's what has been going on in a nutshell recently. It's been a lot of busy work with a some time to relax mixed in. My goal for this semester is to match my last semester sophomore year before I went abroad and get on the Dean's List again. It's an uphill battle but I have high hopes for the semester.
Also, I see I have a few new followers so a huge "hi" and "welcome"! Sorry I've been boring lately but I'll get some opinion pieces out there soon.
I've talked about this before in the past but seeing as how my tastes have changed and evolved over time, I think it's time for a new one. Here, in no particular order, are ten qualities in a guy that make me all hot and bothered.
1. A Sense of humour: I have a pretty dry sense of humour. I do laugh easily and often, but if I do make a joke, it's usually pretty snarky, logic based, or situational. All things considered though, someone who can make me laugh scores major bonus points in attractiveness, as is the ability to make the occasional dry humour joke.
2. Height: I'm a bit of a height whore, I admit it. If you have hit 6ft or more, your hotness is like immediately doubled. Nothing against shorter guys, but I would say my absolute minimum for a guy is 5'8".
3. He's fit: I take care of my body, so should you. You don't have to look like you just walked off an Abercrombie and Fitch photo shoot (though that doesn't hurt) but please go to the gym regularly or at least look like you do. I like guys with a little bit of bulk, but not too much. A swimmer build is ideal but soccer players (skinnier but still hella fit) really also are damn hot. Ripped is not necessary, but toned is awesome. I don't mind skinny guys, but if you look like I can break you with my hand, then things probably won't work out either. I sound really picky and like a bit of a dick but if I put work into making myself look good, I feel I deserve a little in return from my partner.
4. Intelligence: There are many kinds of intelligence out there. Book smarts, street smarts, they are all valid and useful. While I love silly conversation as much as the next guy, I do eventually intend to have deeper more complex conversation and debates. Here is where I hope to have someone I can debate with for long periods of time and hopefully gain new perspectives on things that I never would have considered otherwise. I want a guy who I can learn from. It should be noted though that I would prefer to be the smarter one in the relationship. Dunno why, just would.
5. We're not carbon copies of each other: I want a guy different from who I am. I tend to be attracted to guys who are from different social circles and have different interests and passions than I do. Despite having been an athlete before, I don't consider it a key aspect of my identity today. Despite this however, beyond just the physical reasons, I find athletes attractive because they're different than me. Same goes for bros and country guys. While I do want shared interests, I don't want to be doing everything he does, some independence is essential.
6. A dude's dude: I posted this photo a while ago. I made it during my freshman year for a sort of post-secret type thing at my school. It still rings true today.
7. Multilingual: Knowing and speaking multiple languages indicates a few things for me. 1. They are dedicated to what they do. Learning a language takes time, effort, and lots of struggling before you're eventually good at it. I admire anyone who is willing to put in the effort. 2. They are curious and open to new things, and given I'm one to adventure and am willing to try almost anything once, that is also a plus in a guy. So multilingualism is something I find quite sexy, especially German and French...but I'm biased haha.
8. My age or older: While I won't rule out dating a guy younger than me, someone my grade or slightly older is my preference. Basically anyone in university is fair game right now though.
9. Messy Blond Hair: Something I've always found really, really attractive is slightly longish tousled blond hair on a guy. I think it takes a certain kind of guy to pull it off, but if they can, it's really hot. I have a thing for blonds in general though.
10. Well Dressed: Someone who takes pride in their appearance appears so much more confident and attractive to me. A well groomed and well dressed guy is a total plus in my eyes. He doesn't have to be wearing the latest designer stuff or look like he just robbed a J Crew or Brooks Brothers, but two things should be present: fit and coordination. Guys who wear baggy jeans, gym wear, or sweat pants all the time come across as lazy to me. Probably one of the most stereotypical "gay" things I do is that I am pretty picky when I do shop for clothes. I gotta try everything on and will not settle until I find exactly what I was looking for.
There are more things but then again I could probably blabber on forever about this kind of stuff. My internet was down last night so I couldn't post anything, but I'll try and get something down tonight, I promise. Also, to anonymous, your question shall be answered, no worries :)
Music Bonus:
I'm a huge fan of mashups and this one is pretty sick. Basically take 50+ top hits of the year and put them together. Very well done.
It's been a while since I dedicated a post to talking about guys, especially since I arrived in Denmark over a month ago, but better late than never.
I haven't gotten with any guys since I've arrived here but there have been a few occasions where I probably could have but decided against it. Two guys have shown interest in me but I wasn't really into them. Oddly, both guys are in my Nordic mythology class and were trying a little too hard during our last field study to talk me up. One guy is shorter than me, has short brown hair, and is sweet enough, but I'm a huge fan of guys who are at least my height or taller, which isn't too demanding since I'm 5'10". He was almost glued to my side the entire trip (and now walking with me after class ends too) and is doing the puppy dog thing. I'd totally be friends with him since he has a pretty good sense of humour, but nothing more. The other guy is taller than me is a mixed half white/half Vietnamese. He kept passing off complements to me during the trip which is always nice, but he was almost too direct if you know what I mean. It felt like he was trying too hard which I'm not a fan of either. Also, something about his personality and attitude put me off. He came across as kinda pretentious and haughty which are two things which are huge turn offs for me.
So yeah, two options presented to me but no go.
So what about being proactive and chatting some guys up? Well, I'm honestly too shy to talk to Danes which is a shame since they are effing gorgeous, but there are some lookers in my study abroad Uni as well. Of all my classes, my European Business Course has provided the most instances of good looking guys who I'd be interested in, but there is one in particular.This guy, we'll call him Lax, because obviously he is/was a lacrosse player, is especially attention grabbing. He's tall, about 6'1 or so, has really nice arms, broad shoulders, blond hair, and is hot to boot. Physically, he's almost perfect in my book. Though he's a lacrosse player, he isn't a lax bro. He's still bro-y which is nice, but also adorable as many of his mannerisms make him seem like a 15 year old trapped in a 21 year old's body. He's not childish, but the fact that he's so easily amused and often has his head in the clouds just makes him come across as younger than he actually is. The main fault I have with him is that he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer if you know what I mean. He's not dumb, but he isn't the most clever guy ever either. That aside, he's a cool guy to hang out with. We're not super close but we've gotten food and had many a conversation together. He has a girlfriend at home which is a bummer, but who knows what can happen while in Europe...
In that same class there are a number of other good looking guys though there are things about them which turns me off to them that Lax thankfully doesn't possess. They are either douchey, too bro-y, or just have horrible or bland personalities. Yeah, with all this talk about guys and what I like, I probably sound like I'm picky as hell, which I am sorta, but honestly I don't think I'm that terrible. I'm big on personality and also on looks, but more so on the first.
I need to be more proactive and actually talk to guys while here. Now that the post-arrival jitters have pretty much disappeared, I should probably get working on it.
Yeah, if anything comes up, I'll be sure to write about it. I'm heading to Paris for a week on Monday with my Euro Business class which I'm so stoked for. It's been a few years since I went to Paris with my family but from what I remember it was awesome and I can't wait to return. Plus, being one of only 2 or maybe 3 people who can speak French fluently in my class of 25 has its perks :P
Later guys,
JP
Sidenote: I've started following a number of new blogs recently so I'd thought I would post a few finds from time to time. One I just found today is Brotastic and College Guy which is a two-author blog covering the antics of these two guys and the crazy stuff they've been up to. While I wouldn't call myself a bro, considering that's what they describe their target audience to be, it's still a good read. It's been entertaining to read what they have down so far so I definitely recommend checking it out.
I almost don't want to go to Denmark, at least not now. If I could have just one more month of summer I would be the happiest guy in the world. It's not because I don't want classes to start or that I'm afraid of going to a new country, I just have something here at home now that I don't want to leave....a guy.
While I don't believe I've mentioned it on here before, but I've been seeing a guy since early June. He works at the gym I go to and while we started out as just friends, but last night, while chilling on the balcony of his house enjoying the sound of crickets and a few beers, we both realized we are starting to fall for each other. We couldn't be more different. He's a bro-y, frat guy and I'm just not, but I guess opposites attract because I can not figure out how things happened otherwise.
We spent hours just sitting on that balcony talking, flirting, and just laying in each other's arms. Even when one of his roommates got back from work at 2AM, we all just sat and talked the night away until it was 4, not having any idea where all the time went. I spent the night at his place and fell asleep in his arms for the first time. It was the most amazing experience to wake up feeling so secure and comfortable. That's the thing, we're just so relaxed around each other, more so than when I'm with even some of my closest friends. I didn't want to leave.
I leave for Denmark in four days. I'll be boarding my plane to Reykjavik, Iceland Saturday evening and then arriving in Copenhagen around noon local time on Sunday. I won't be back until December which feels like an eternity away but I'm pretty sure it will pass quickly.
I've never been in a situation like this before and it's kind of confusing. I just wish I had four weeks instead of four days before I had to leave to figure things out better.
I was voted most likley to be a cradle robber this year by a group of my friends. Funny thing is, I do have my eyes on a freshman who's in the theater production I'm doing publicity for. He's cute, kinda dorky and fun to talk to. We'll see where this goes.....
Sad thing is, German and Managerial Accounting have been eating up so much of my time I don't even know if I'll have enough of a social life in the near future to even make something happen. Ugh. Anyways, doesn't the fact that I'm younger than MANY of the freshmen make the whole cradle-robber label null and void?
It’s a rainy, grey day but that's okay because I got my paper turned in and my presentation done. I felt nervous during my presentation but that doesn’t matter now, I’m just glad it’s done; plus, I have a break until a Calc test Thursday. 50% of my International business grade was just determined, how exciting!
I think I’m going to take a break from writing about my life and indulge myself and make myself sound shallow because, let’s face it, we all are. Well, maybe shallow isn’t the right word but I think you get the idea. Ima make a personal ad!
Wanted:
5’8”-6’2” male, blond or dark brown hair, well dressed, slim or athletic build, but not too bulky. Must be funny but also can be serious and can carry on a conversation; romantic would also be a plus, I’m a bit of a romantic myself. I’m not in to guys who are very flamboyant. Must enjoy going out on intimate outings but also enjoy group outings and partying from time to time. Shared interests would be a plus, especially a love for cars and cooking/good food. Also desirable is the quality of not being jealous, I know I can be the jealous type myself but I’m trying to change that. Non smoker please, not drugs either, both are just gross. I’m a bit of a coffee and tea addict so if you are too that’s a plus :)
The personal blog of a now recent college grad who successfully pushed through a business school curriculum and now is facing the "real world" with an actual big boy job. This blog follows the the joys, challenges, struggles, and surprises it presents to him, whether it be work, school, his peers, or the occasional rogue deer running into the road. Join Me, Won't You?
Maria - My best friend since kindergarden, I know almost everything about her and she about me. She was the first person I came out to and has been the rock ontowhich I go to when things get rocky in life. She's the only person I can actually speak completely open and frankly with. I don't know what I would do if I never met her all those years ago.
M - A girl I became friends with freshman year of high school, we've become very close friends and continue to be to this very day. We are surprisingly similar personality wise and value each other's opinion very highly. I can talk freely to M almost as much as I can with Maria. She currently attends an ivy-league university up north; I'm really glad we met all those years ago and can only imagine how my high school years would have turned out if we never met.
Miss X- Foodie, blogger, photgrapher, one of my best friends, and someone who can have a delightfully dry sense of humour. We met early on in high school and have been friends ever since. We often go on adventures accross NOVA with our little circle of friends which are occasionally recounted here on this blog.
Christine- Friends since we could barely ride half the roller coasters at theme parks, Christine is a magical being who is one of the few people I could and would talk about anything with for hours on end. She's currently spending much of her time in NYC though we still see each other very often. Her dramas sometimes make my drama seem like childsplay.
Mark -A former dorm mate, and now former crush. He came out as bi to me and Maudry one night which he has been increasingly comfortable with. He's tall, has short brown hair and used to play football. He's ambitious and looks to make a big impact in the world of Politics in the future. I have had a crush on him and we've gotten together a few times. I thought our relationship could have been something more, but in the end it will end up staying as a friendship. I hope only the best for him.
Liz - One of best friends at school. She's funny, charismatic and is someone who I can tell almost anything to. She's friends with Maudry, Mark and is part of the first floor crew who I love and frequently visited during my freshman year, we're still great friends today.
Matt - My now former love, hate, drug, everything. I met him back during my Sophomore year and the crush I developed on him that stuck for the longest time. He's tall, has brown blond hair and the rare but desirable "serious but funny" personality that makes me melt. He also has probably one of the best smiles of any guy I know. He was one of the captains of my high schools cross country team. For quite some time I've tried to end this obsession over him but everytime I seemed to make progress, I'd relapse. He's a great guy but in all liklihood he's straight.
Southern Charm (aka SC) - A guy on the crew team who had moved up from Florida during my senior year. He's charming, tall, and slim with brown slightly wavy short hair. When I first met him I got the thought that he might be gay, a thought I quickly suppressed. Since then, we had become pretty good friends. My friend Jess has a crush on SC. One evening on a car ride home, my friend Dutch told me she thought that SC might be gay, something I had repressed in my mind for months, but was pushed to the front of my mind again. He's now a freshman and is study engineering and comp sci in university.
Ben - A guy I had the pleasure of knowing for one of the best weeks of my life during a cruise over the summer. He's a bit shorter than me but was also a senior who runs cross country. We got to know each other pretty well and had many conversations during that week that I will probably never forget. He has brown hair and the most beautiful light brown eyes. I'm pretty sure he's straight but i couldn't help but get the feeling he could have been bi. He's mostly in my summer 2009 posts.
Dutch - My friend who I met during my junior year on the crew team. She's a fun great person to be around and is someone I could talk about anything with, especially during the private car rides back from practice. We both know of all the crew drama that goes on.
My Family - A network of people who I love with all my heart despite their nuances, quirks and often ridiculous practices. Apart from my mom, I haven't told anyone I'm gay and probably won't for a while. They're not ready for that and don't need the added stress.
Various Single Lettered Friends (L, T, K etc)- Friends I got too lazy to actually come up with an alias for (I gave up after five, how sad haha). They are usually someone from my close group of friends some of which I have come out to. We have a very mutually supportive relationship that fosters great bonds between us as a group.
**Names Changed to Preserve Anonymity**
I'm from the ________
I Can't Resist...
Where are You From?
Full Disclosure
All pictures on this blog are taken from the internet and are assumed to be of public domain. If you own any image and would like for it to be removed, let me know and it will be removed immediately.
