Dammit. I'm starting to have another one of my "where is my life headed?" and "I think it's time to purge dead weight from my life" moments again. I woke up from a nap that lasted far too long and just had a deep, empty feeling in the put of my stomach and a cold, lost feeling in my mind.
My friend dynamics have shuffled around again; I have people who I feel much closer to now and those who I'm starting to drift away from. I'm starting to realize that maybe some of these people just aren't doing me any good or are just dragging me down by their negativity. Sad thing is, some of these people were those who I felt closest with not too long ago. What do I do? Smile through it? Kick them off the cliff?
On the other hand, I also feel lost as to what I want to do in my life. We talked about this in my Finance class. All things considered, I'm done with school in two years, a few more if I go for a MBA, hopefully have a family in ten, and will be sending my kids to college in around thirty. Those numbers seemed huge not too long ago but now they seem like they are around the corner. Scarier still, my sophomore year has been passing by quicker than I ever could have anticipated. Time isn't staying at its already terrifyingly quick pace, but accelerating.
I'm trying to study for my Marketing midterm which is tomorrow morning and a Finance midterm Thursday, sandwich in an International Trade problem set due Wednesday and I really should NOT be writing this. But I have to, I'm literally sitting in a cubical in the school library panicking when I really need to get my act together and do well on these things.
Focus, dammit! You have too much stuff to do this week already to worry about non-class things right now.
Hookup: New York Moments Part 2
7 months ago
"be sending my kids to college in than thirty"
ReplyDeleteSo what happens after you're 30? Everyone makes the mistake of rushing through things, planning a future by the numbers but at the end of the day, life is the longest thing you'll experience so enjoy it for the ride, and take it slow.
Hey JP, I think most of us in our 20's feel the same way you do...I'm told it's just a part of growing up and entering the real world. =P
ReplyDeleteAs for your friends, it's hard to say. People go through phases and pull away. Who knows, maybe some of them might be feeling stressed out the same as you are, and that's why they're so negative. In the end, the true friends will come back regardless, so I'd stick with them. And if they don't, no big loss right?
I wouldn't worry on the future too much, you're still a long ways off from an MBA and waaaay off from having a family. Thinking about it and holding yourself to a timeline like that is just added stress on you and those things will come eventually. For now, just focus on getting through your undergrad or this semester, or hell, just your midterms!
Anyway, best of luck bud!