Une Vie Compliquée: An Open Letter: R

Thursday, November 3, 2011

An Open Letter: R

Another installment of the "An Open Letter" series...

R,

You really need to get a grip on the world around you. I don't think you realize this right now but the path you're on isn't going to lead you to anything good. First is your obsession to Jackass X who I've written about on this blog before; I don't know if it's because you're craving some power figure to cling on to or just because you're trying to use him to your own advantage, but you need to realize that he isn't on your side. He makes fun of you blatantly to your face but you're so blinded by your love and faith in this guy that you don't even realize it. He's a jerk, and you're starting to show his influence on you. You're lying, exaggerating to near hyperbolic levels and being the guy that no one likes, the same guy you were making fun of just a few months ago. Your obsession with trying to gain status is also approaching unbearable levels. Stop trying to get chummy with people just because you got the idea that they will nominate you for some award later on. What happened to you? You used to be such a nice, calm, collected guy. I liked you as a friend because we were similar for the most part, but now, I don't even know what to think. You're becoming uncomfortably desperate, and it shows.

You need to end this obsession with trying to get others to like you. I don't know if it's because you've been around Jackass X too much or because of some other weird issue you've been dealing with lately. We're all your friends, and we don't want to lose you over stupid reasons. Please, just chill out. I don't know who you think is watching you every minute of every day that you're trying to impress but I can guarantee that the reward is not nearly worth the work you're putting into keeping up this act.

Just talk to us, we're your friends and we'll listen no matter what.

JP

1 comment:

WayneNovember 4, 2011 at 2:14 PM
I remember lots of people like Jackass X; they eventually get their comeuppance. Hope your friend will realize this. - Wayne :)
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Glossary

Some people I mention in this blog:

Maria - My best friend since kindergarden, I know almost everything about her and she about me. She was the first person I came out to and has been the rock ontowhich I go to when things get rocky in life. She's the only person I can actually speak completely open and frankly with. I don't know what I would do if I never met her all those years ago.

M - A girl I became friends with freshman year of high school, we've become very close friends and continue to be to this very day. We are surprisingly similar personality wise and value each other's opinion very highly. I can talk freely to M almost as much as I can with Maria. She currently attends an ivy-league university up north; I'm really glad we met all those years ago and can only imagine how my high school years would have turned out if we never met.

Miss X- Foodie, blogger, photgrapher, one of my best friends, and someone who can have a delightfully dry sense of humour. We met early on in high school and have been friends ever since. We often go on adventures accross NOVA with our little circle of friends which are occasionally recounted here on this blog.

Christine- Friends since we could barely ride half the roller coasters at theme parks, Christine is a magical being who is one of the few people I could and would talk about anything with for hours on end. She's currently spending much of her time in NYC though we still see each other very often. Her dramas sometimes make my drama seem like childsplay.

Mark -A former dorm mate, and now former crush. He came out as bi to me and Maudry one night which he has been increasingly comfortable with. He's tall, has short brown hair and used to play football. He's ambitious and looks to make a big impact in the world of Politics in the future. I have had a crush on him and we've gotten together a few times. I thought our relationship could have been something more, but in the end it will end up staying as a friendship. I hope only the best for him.

Liz - One of best friends at school. She's funny, charismatic and is someone who I can tell almost anything to. She's friends with Maudry, Mark and is part of the first floor crew who I love and frequently visited during my freshman year, we're still great friends today.

Matt - My now former love, hate, drug, everything. I met him back during my Sophomore year and the crush I developed on him that stuck for the longest time. He's tall, has brown blond hair and the rare but desirable "serious but funny" personality that makes me melt. He also has probably one of the best smiles of any guy I know. He was one of the captains of my high schools cross country team. For quite some time I've tried to end this obsession over him but everytime I seemed to make progress, I'd relapse. He's a great guy but in all liklihood he's straight.

Southern Charm (aka SC) - A guy on the crew team who had moved up from Florida during my senior year. He's charming, tall, and slim with brown slightly wavy short hair. When I first met him I got the thought that he might be gay, a thought I quickly suppressed. Since then, we had become pretty good friends. My friend Jess has a crush on SC. One evening on a car ride home, my friend Dutch told me she thought that SC might be gay, something I had repressed in my mind for months, but was pushed to the front of my mind again. He's now a freshman and is study engineering and comp sci in university.

Ben - A guy I had the pleasure of knowing for one of the best weeks of my life during a cruise over the summer. He's a bit shorter than me but was also a senior who runs cross country. We got to know each other pretty well and had many conversations during that week that I will probably never forget. He has brown hair and the most beautiful light brown eyes. I'm pretty sure he's straight but i couldn't help but get the feeling he could have been bi. He's mostly in my summer 2009 posts.

Dutch - My friend who I met during my junior year on the crew team. She's a fun great person to be around and is someone I could talk about anything with, especially during the private car rides back from practice. We both know of all the crew drama that goes on.

My Family - A network of people who I love with all my heart despite their nuances, quirks and often ridiculous practices. Apart from my mom, I haven't told anyone I'm gay and probably won't for a while. They're not ready for that and don't need the added stress.

Various Single Lettered Friends (L, T, K etc)- Friends I got too lazy to actually come up with an alias for (I gave up after five, how sad haha). They are usually someone from my close group of friends some of which I have come out to. We have a very mutually supportive relationship that fosters great bonds between us as a group.

**Names Changed to Preserve Anonymity**

Thursday, November 3, 2011

An Open Letter: R

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