How To: Avoid Speaking to Strangers

You know how it often happens, you're in some public location and someone approaches you with that unmissable glint in the corner of their eye. They're on a mission, and that mission involves you. Their mission can vary widely, maybe they're trying to sell you something, ask you survey questions, force religious beliefs on you, or just for the sake of being creepy. Well, after a lengthy conversation with my Friends today, we've come up with a guide to avoid and ultimately halt a situation where a simple "no" just simply isn't enough.

The Foreigner - This can apply to anyone in reality but this tends to work especially well if you you can pull off being a foreigner or tourist wherever you are. Most effective in cities or touristy areas, if someone approaches you, likely with the intent to sell you another resin model of some famous building, prepare yourself. If you can pull it off, pretend not to speak whatever language they talk to you with, likely English (as all tourists are from America obviously), put on the heaviest accent you can authentically muster and say some gibberish while walking, fast. If accents aren't your thing, just respond in a foreign language. Asian languages tend to have the advantage here as there are relatively few speakers of Japanese, Korean or Chinese outside of those respective countries, but anything that's not the native tongue or English (sorry, it's too widely understood) will work. The best combo tends to be when a non-Asian can speak an Asian language, guaranteed freak out.

Headphones - Ear buds work just fine as well. People assume you're not paying attention when you have anything with wires coming out of your ears. They don't even have to be connected to anything really, just having them in your ears works 90% of the time. This is also very useful when you want to listen in on conversations and have people think you're just listening to the latest Britney song or whatever. I've had many experiences with hearing some very odd conversations by doing this -not intentionally of course, but while I was changing songs :P-

Technology is Your Friend - fake a call, pretend to text, actually text or just look preoccupied. sure it may look staged, but whoever is trying to get you you will at least think twice about wasting their breath on trying to make any contact with you. Just avoid eye contact.

Friendly travel and everyday advice from the demented minds of JP and his friends.


All the best,

JP

Oh, P.S., I can't decide if I love or hate this song. I have a feeling that the more I listen to it the better it gets, but I also keep feeling it has next to no (musical) value :/


Kesha - Blah Blah Blah

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