Happy New Year! and a Question

Hey guys! I hope y'all had a fun start to 2013. I spent my new year in New York with some friends which was pretty sick. New year eve we went to my friend's cousin's place in Brooklyn for a party he was throwing. I got too drunk for my own good and got a little quite messy which I'm not the most proud of but whatever. I ended up being the first new year's kiss for my friend's hot cousin which was funny. We initially had bonded over sharing the same name which doesn't happen often since I have a less common, kinda old-fashioned name. Anyways, not too long after that my memory got a little more spotty but I didn't fully black out which is a plus. We left around 2:30 or so and made it back to her apartment in Manhattan around 3:15 or something around then. New Year day was spent mostly in bed. I got up around 1 but it wasn't until maybe 3 or slightly after that everyone was up. The hangover wasn't horrible and I avoided the headache, though the body aches weren't as forgiving.

The rest of the trip was spent mostly chilling and exploring Manhattan. It was cold, windy, and with one of my friends being sick, we couldn't do too much which was fine by me. It was nice to be able to do have some fun outside of Virginia before heading back to DC.

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So now I have a question for you guys:

The state of things between Brandon and I has me kinda confused and doing some thinking. First, I do like the guy; it's awesome spending time with him, but I don't know if things are going where either of us want. At this point, I'm looking for more than just being cuddle buddies or friends with benefits, and I don't know if that's what he's looking for. I also think if for whatever reason our relationship did end up being more. we might be too different for each other. I know I've made a point to say how I don't want everything to be similar between me and a guy I'm interested in, but this time around, I think things might be too far apart to be workable. We don't really share friend circles, he's working, I'm still in school, and given that, we don't really get to see each other either apart from maybe once a month when we arrange our schedules. In addition, our interests don't really overlap. Sure, we share a love for the Redskins and such, but there isn't anything we can both get really excited about. We aren't even really talking nearly as often now, and my major pet peeve - ignoring texts - is too common.

I don't know if people have gotten past this sort of thing and how they do it, but I'm seriously starting to think if I really should continue fretting over this. School's starting soon which is going to bring its own brand of stress inevitably. Also, what's worse, being woefully single or being in a relationship where uncertainty of where things stand rules? Going back to school soon could be a good "fresh start". Granted, my last two years at my school haven't exactly made me very excited about the prospects there, but hey, maybe some new people have come out of the woodwork (no pun intended) and there's the new freshman population to terrorize look into if I really have to.

I know you guys don't have all the details but do you have an opinion on this situation? Should I try and talk to him and see what the whole picture is like from his side, or just accept that maybe things are cooling down and let things happen?

All the best,

JP

Happy 2012

Hey Y'all, first, a belated Happy New Year to you! I hope you had a good time however you spent that night. I spent new years with Christine, Mads and our friend Paige who's visiting from California at Christine's house. We had a fondue dinner which was really awesome since I haven't done fondue since probably freshman year of high school. First was a cheese fondue with vegetables, bread and apple followed by NY Strip Steak fondue with a nice beef stock, and finally was chocolate fondue with strawberries, cookies and marshmallows. Dinner was with Christine's mom, step dad, stepsister and some rando who we guessed was her Step dad's nephew but weren't sure haha. He was kinda silly and liked to talk, not half bad looking either. We had a bet rolling as to how old we thought he was, I ended up settling on 24 with Paige and Christine and Mads set on 25. Eventually we pried out that he graduated in 2009 so 25 was more likely. He was from the Midwest, Indiana I think, and had an accent which I'm a sucker for.

After dinner, we took pictures and settled down for the countdown to midnight. We ended up having what we mutually described as a very high-school night. Since it was at Christine's house, we couldn't get drunk like for 2011 which was kinda a letdown; nevertheless, it was a really fun night. We watched The Walking Dead, an AMC show on Netflix before midnight and gorged ourselves on kettle corn, chips and french onion dip, and vegan general tso's chicken from Whole Foods (odd, but surprisingly good). At midnight, we did our cheers with Martinelli's and I made my calls and texts to my friends. Soon after we settled back down to our couch party and started watching Horrible Bosses which I saw before but definitely didn't mind watching again. We all were planning on spending the night so we each got a blanket and made ourselves comfortable for the night. By 1:30ish, I fell asleep in my chair along with Paige who had a sleeping bag on the floor. Christine and Mads watched the entire thing and found it really funny as they said the next morning at breakfast. Christine's mom made us pancakes and bacon (can I say I love this family?) and we had a leisurely morning. Christine had work that day so we all left by 10:30.

So, overall, a pretty chill new year. It was nice to spend time with good, long-term friends, be totally relaxed and just vege out, so underrated in my opinion.

Well, I still have about one week left in my winter break so I've got a few adventures planned out. Maria just got back and my friend M should be returning from her trip up to Boston in the next few days so I look forward to catching up with them soon.

I hope 2012 brings many great surprises to you.

All the best,

JP

Dear 2010,

Dear 2010,

You’ve been a very interesting year. Did I ask for all the interesting things you presented to me? No, but everything that did happen had a reason, and I’ve taken everything I’ve learned to heart.

You’ve brought me plenty of firsts…

My first kiss, my first hookup, my first true heartache

My first time I’ve actually felt comfortable with coming out and just being myself

My first time living independently, at least as independent as humanly possible

My first drink, my first college party and my first time getting sick from too much partying

And countless more.

You’ve brought me victories; I’m at one of the nation’s most prestigious universities, something my mom never got to do and my dad had to quit.

...and you’ve brought me losses; I lost my uncle to cancer and a friend I first met during freshman year.

I’ve met people who have changed my outlook on life and I’ve met those who are trying to figure out which path to take in life. I’ve made many new friends and very few enemies, and hopefully some of those friendships will be lifelong. I’ve become exposed to so many stories that no length of book could ever record the raw emotion and feeling associated with them.

And I have some regrets. You, 2010, were supposed to be the year I wanted to be more open with myself which I am, yet I still haven’t come out to my roommate. I also regret letting my connection with my dad become as loose as it has. I should have been nicer to him, spent more time with him rather than pushing him away.

Nevertheless, 2010, the surprises and triumphs you’ve presented to me far outweigh the downsides.

I’m more mature, I’m stronger, I’ve taken off more masks than I have in years and it feels awesome.

Thank you 2010, you’ve been one of the best years in all my life. 2011 has a lot to live up to but I have a feeling that 2011 could be just as good if not better.

Finally, I’d like to thank all of my readers, if it weren’t for you guys I never would have been able to achieve even remotely closely the amount of growth I have. I’ve revealed things here that I’ve never shared with anyone in person. The support you guys have provided is something I truly appreciate and can never thank you enough for.

Ring in the new year with some music

Two Door Cinema Club - I Can Talk

I wish everyone a very happy and prosperous new year.

All the best,

JP

Goodbye, 2009

What a year 2009 was! In reflection, this probably was one of the better years so far in my life but it wasn't without its ups and downs. I've met many new people and made many new friends, entered my final year of high school (bittersweet, really), started this blog and came out to many friends and probably more importantly my mom. So how will I remember 2009? It'll probably be remembered as the year when I finally opened up to myself and others, and I like that.

Now, as 2010 is coming in a matter of hours, I should, as I do every year, make a list of resolutions. My top five for 2010 are...

1. Come out to all my friends before I leave High School
2. Organize all my books, binders and papers
3. Stop procrastinating until the last second on assignments
4. Become involved in some volunteering activity
5. Stay in contact with all my friends once we all go our separate ways

-and- (6. get an MSN and finally talk to Dzyan and everyone else)

I hope everyone will have a safe and Happy New Year and may 2010 be your best year yet!

JP