A Week of 10s Day 1: Things I Dislike About Myself

I'm going to try something on this blog. Each day for the next week, I'm going to do a list of 10 things about myself; things I like about myself, my top 10 dreams, and things like that. I'm going to start with 10 things I dislike about myself. It might seem like a cruddy way to kick it off but I'm not in some weird depressed mood or anything, it's just what popped into my head first.

But before that, it snowed here for the first time this winter!

from my room

But let's begin...

Top 10: Things I Dislike About Myself

1. I can be horribly jealous. I admittedly have a jealously problem, especially when it comes to other people performing better than me or when it comes to relationships. Seeing someone I like with someone else who I see as a potential challenger or threat can put me on edge in seconds. Also, while I don't like to admit it, I have actually intervened into conversations to divert attention away from their own meeting. Soap opera-esque dick move? Yeah. I also hate it when other people do better than me. I know I'm not the best at everything but it still pains me a little when other people do better than I do whether it be in school or just everyday activities. Speaking of....

2. I suck at writing papers. Whether it be a research paper, a book analysis, or a simple prompt answer, my writing level and abilities aren't very impressive. I think the main problem I have when I write is my general writing style. Many friends of mine have a considerably more formal and eloquent style when they write for assignments than I do. My papers, in my eyes, seem very juvenile and lacking in comparison.

3. Moodiness. I'm not a very moody person, but when I am in a bad mood, things are truly bad. On the rare occasion that I get very annoyed, I can and will lash out and be an all-round horrible person. Luckily, things like that happen very infrequently.

4. Messiness. I try to keep things clean, I really do, but the law of entropy always wins. Always. Here's my desk now as I write:

Messy!

5. Indecisiveness. I hate making decisions and have a bad habit of switching between options every five seconds. If you saw my browsing history for my recent new/used car search, it would show something new being chosen at least 4 times each day.

6. I wish I was a bit taller. Okay, so this is kinda beyond my control. I'm the second tallest person in my family after one of my cousins but I still wish I was taller. 5'11" would be grand. Sure, it's only about one inch taller than I am now, but still, it makes a difference.

7. I'm not very open. I bottle up emotions and rarely share them with my friends or family. I don't like burdening others with my own problems. The problem with this is that it can be very difficult at times to handle everything going on in my head, and when I do end up spilling my guts, it comes in massive tsunamis which I'm pretty sure make my friends think I'm a nut job. This blog has helped though in letting me say things I don't say in person.

8. I'm an impulse buyer. See something I really like? Have the money? Do I need it? If any two of the three are there, I buy it. Not good news for my wallet but I'm working to control my spending habits. So far, this trip to Denmark I've been very good at limiting how much I spend. I'm probably going home with a few hundred bucks leftover from my original cash stash that I brought when I first left home.

9. I'm too shy. One problem I have, especially when I go meet guys, is that I'm really shy and often just won't go up and introduce myself to anyone. Adding on to this, I also have strong anti-social bouts where I just shut myself away from the rest of the world and only have "me time". Most people do this from time to time, but I think I probably do it more often than the regular everyday person.

10. I don't believe in myself enough. I know that I often don't give myself enough credit for what I do and can do. I worry about everything and always think I did horribly on something though that is rarely the case. I have a deep fear of failure which may play a role in this. All things considered, I've turned out pretty well, but I still am always thinking I messed up somewhere, somehow, and on some thing.

So there we are, ten things which I dislike about myself. Tomorrow I'm going to choose ten other things to talk about. Maybe ten things I want to experience before I die or my ten favorite memories.

If you have any suggestions on what I should do a top ten on, please suggest them in the comments. I love getting feedback from readers.

All the best,

JP

About Myself

While surrounded my my countless peers I hold endless secrets to myself, here I should let my true self show. Some background, I'm a 16 year old high school guy just trying to get by through a life of secrets and seemingly endless challenges. While I try and help as many others as i can, I often end up leaving myself neglected. A loyal friend yet a very picky individual, i only will trust those who have proven themsleves to be worthy of such trust. I currently speak English, some French, and Chinese, I'm currently teaching myself Swedish, to limited success. Relationships? More like lack-thereof, but that's unfortunately my own fault. Being a closeted teenager does not do one well especially when you can only keep of a charade of lies. Stuck between public reaction and the ever so appealing reaction of my parents i have decided it is still best to keep this my own issue.

Some of my interests? Well I'm an avid cook, experimenting with whatever I have. Success or not it is always a learning experience. I especially like making italian dishes as well as asian cuisine, both mid-east, south and chinese foods. i also have a massive sweet-tooth and chocolholic who could probably down an entire cake if the occasion seemed fit. I bake regularly, i just made a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies a few hours ago. I'm a foodie to say the least, food will always be something I love no matter what. Another interest would be cars, especially Volvo, as for why i don't know, but i think it has something to do with the cleanliness of design and the practicality associated with them (practicality is hot). I do only one sport - Crew, i row on my high school's crew team, not the best but not the worst either.

So why Am I starting this blog? Well I need somewhere to record the daily events of my life and be able to rant, rave and do everything in between. This will sorta serve as my personal digital journal, ironically one that anyone can potentially read which i am personally fine with. I plan to share events in my life, any random ideas that pop into my head and any hints or things I feel is worthy to be shared, I'd imagine things about food and cars will some up often.