There are three main groups of people in my life: those who I get along with, those who I don't, and those who I don't even bother with. Luckily for me, the number of people that fall into each of those groups declines as one goes down the line. For the most part, I'm a friendly and agreeable person; people get along with me and I with them. One reason for this I think is because I will go out of my way to make friends and get to know someone from the get-go. Even if I have no idea about someone, I will try and find some common ground between us two and form some kind of connection on the spot. Through this, I have met many people who I was on good terms with. Today, whether I still see them or am still in contact with them varies, but despite that, the fact that I know they have positive opinion of me and I of them makes me happy.
The second, smaller group of people tends to be people, who despite my attempts to find common ground, still possess qualities which I personally oppose and likely will not ever grow to love or at least become apathetic towards. Despite that however, I still want to engage these people because they can provide a wide range of insight towards topics and ideas that I probably know very little about. Even if I believe X and them Y, I want to hear what they say even if I don't like it because even controversial or disliked knowledge is useful knowledge, and as curious and inquisitive creatures, humans can always benefit from knowing more.
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Like Republicans |
They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, well, here is a case where I think this applies. I probably have had the most engaging conversations with those who I personally don't like but can't laud enough on what they can and have contributed to my personal development.
Finally, we have the third group, people who I don't bother with. This is a very exclusive club in my social sphere network as it only contains two people from my 19+ years on this earth. The individuals who belong in this group are those who possess qualities which I feel are so ludicrous, so abhorrent and unforgivable, that no matter what they say or do, I will never have any sort of respect for them as fellow humans.
It may seem like a very strong thing to say that someone can be so nasty and curt that I hold no respect for them in my mind, yet it is true. Despite being as open I attempt to be, there are those who I just cannot seem to get along with or respectfully disagree with. One of these individuals was a girl back in middle school who thankfully I only knew for two years before she disappeared to a different high school, went to live on some hippie farm, and now is at some joke of a college that I had never heard of up north.
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I bet she grew some sick acorn squash at one point |
She was an absolutely deplorable person in my eyes; a veritable banshee if there ever was one. I remember not so fondly that for two long years, I tried to be friends with her, tried to be nice and kind, yet all of this was pointless. She constantly put down very idea I shared, didn't bother to reciprocate any act of kindness I threw her way or try to even feign any form of friendship. So I did what I had to do: I stopped giving a fuck about her and dropped her from my life. Not to long ago, I saw her at a local restaurant while I was dining with some friends. I couldn't help but feel so warm on the the inside, knowing that I cut her out of my life so long ago. She was excess baggage that I didn't need way back when and still don't need today. If I could, I would give my 8th grade self a massive high-five for his smart decision.
The second individual who falls in this category is someone who I had the displeasure of meeting more recently and had even ranted about back in October of last year; we'll name him Ted. Ted is a guy who I met back during my freshman year of college. He lived on my floor in my freshman dorm and worked his way into one of my close circles of friends. Like I did with the others, I entered this relationship with an open mind, but little did I realize that even that would not be enough. Ted has one of those personalities that just does not mesh well with mine. While there are plenty of people who I don't get along perfectly with, I can still manage to find a way for things to fit and work out, but between him and I, we're like oil and water. He's a crass, unapologetically rude, and all-around disagreeable person in my mind. This guy has been enemies with almost everyone in my close circle at one point or another, but somehow, things sort themselves out; for me, however, this just never was the case. Maybe it's how he must ways go against the grain and say something controversial, racist, homophobic or any combination thereof just to go against the flow of a conversation, or maybe it's how he holds grudges about the most trivial and silly things for all of eternity and can never let things go. No matter what the reason, he's someone who I genuinely can not, and probably never will get along with. A fun part of this however is that he seems to dislike me as equally as I do him...
I've tried to be the bigger person and be kind to him on the rare occasions I do see him, but none of this has ever been reciprocated. Every time I say "hi", try to congratulate him, or just be friendly is greeted with a troll-like grimace and face longer than the Nile in Egypt.
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Even this photo is kinda generous... |
I still hold some hope that things maybe can work out, but that hope is quickly fading. Funny thing is that he's in a relationship with a girl in one of my circles who I'm not super close with but is still one of my friends. I don't understand how she can stand him but that's a mystery for another day. Nevertheless, wherever he ends up in life, likely far as he can absorb knowledge like a sponge, I wish him whatever life gives him. I don't wish him the best in life because I don't believe people who purposefully try to be disagreeable deserve the best. No matter what, however, I look forward to a time when the even limited interaction I have with him now eventually dries up to nothing. Like the previous girl, he's the kind of person who just weighs me down and provides excess baggage that I just don't need. Until then, I'll just smile and wave until I reach the day when I can quietly say to myself "Good Riddance."
All the best,
JP