Just over four years ago I wrote this post. Written only a few weeks after going through what was and probably still is the fastest, most hectic period of my life, I was awash with excitement, fear, happiness, and anxiety all at once. I had just graduated college, started my first ever full-time "adult" job, was in California at training, and all while just recently having come out to my greater family and in the dawn of my current relationship. Honestly, even just re-reading what I just wrote makes me uneasy.
Well today, I'm writing part two of that post. Yes, waiting four years for part 2 is nothing compared to the 14 years it took to make the Incredibles 2 (cute movie - you should see it if you enjoyed the original Incredibles), but it took quite a few years to put this story together. So let's begin, shall we?
The Boyfriend: Surprise surprise! The college slut that I was is still with the same boyfriend mentioned in Part 1 today. Joking aside - things with the boyfriend are going well. Back in February we moved in together. After three years of living with roommates (all of whom I loved, by the way), we decided to take the jump and live with each other. We had been dating for 4 years and it made sense to both of us to try it out. I mean, we've made a pretty deep commitment to each other already, so it was time to see if we could
(If I made the reasons for us moving in with each other sound a little too calculated and business like, I swear that is not what it actually was like. Being able to cuddle more often probably played a larger role than I'm willing to mention)
Anyways.......after a month-long search, we got a 1 bedroom + den in a newer building and so far so good. We like the apartment aside from the building managers being slow with some sloppy maintenance in public spaces and we live in an area which is full of young adults like ourselves. The best perk? We also get to spend more time together than we ever had and that pleasure hasn't worn off.
A New Job: So probably the biggest change to have recently happened was that I got a new job. This was a big shift for me, first and foremost because I left the company I was at since graduating in 2014. I should mention that I absolutely loved my old team. So why the move?
Well, being at a company for four years, and especially in tech, is a long time for most young adults. The decision came own to the fact that I felt that skills-wise I had started to plateau. I tried taking on new projects and try new things, but at the end of the day, there was not much additional progression to be had at the job I was in. So when the opportunity came to join my current company and the recruiter reached out, I decided to take the chance and put my hat in the ring. This all happened in late February of this year.
Fast forward to June and I found out I got the offer for the new job. It's still in tech, but I've changed roles to do more marketing work versus program management like I was doing before. When I first started and even today, I'm reminded all to much of how I felt four years ago when I first started working. To that point, I'm even reminded of 8 years ago (gasp) when I graduated high school. It's crazy, but the below paragraph from 2014 still applies to this very second:
It terrifies me to think that I four years ago, I was going through a similar period of nervous energy and anxiety when I knew my high school graduation was similarly around the corner. Like it was four years ago, graduation will serve as the page turn that opens to a new chapter in my life. Instead of entering my potentially final years of schooling, I will be entering the workforce. Instead of saying goodbye to friends who I knew almost exclusively within the concrete wall confines of my high school or the shell of a boat, I will be saying goodbye to people who I have lived with...
The nervous energy I wrote about is exactly what I feel again now. I'm about 1.5 months in and I'm still scared to fail at this job and that I will get a call from my manager telling me that I am going to be let go. I'm still learning so many new tools and figuring out how to best approach supporting the team I am responsible for. I have more autonomy that I had in my last job. I'm able to make decisions and recommendations that could impact people's lives much more than I had before and that's terrifying to me. I still feel like I'm not doing a good job, and yes, I know 1.5 months is still early on, but that's just who I am. I need to feel like I proficient at my job immediately, even if I know that isn't realistic. I also know I tend to latch on to the negatives, the mistakes, the faux pas of the past versus embracing the successes. It's a hard habit to break. It's a learning experience through and through and I'm trying to embrace that as much as I can.
In a few months time, I hope that I can be writing about how I finally feel comfortable and found my rhythm at this new job. I hope that I an write and proclaim the successes which I had a hand in creating. Until then, I just need to take things one step at a time.
The Friends: I realize it's been a very long time since I had written about my friends as well. They're all still there, but as we have all taken on our careers/grad school/law school etc, things have changed of course. I am happy to say that I still have a core group of friends who I see often and am very close with. We still hang out every week if we can, have meals together, go out together, and even vacation together. My friends are only next to my family in what keeps me level headed in this world. While we are now busy with work and maybe don't see each other as often as we used to, I'm happy we all still make the effort to make what time we do spend together count.
My forever best friends Maria and Christine are also doing well. Maria has moved to New York and graduated law school in the last year. She's also now living with her boyfriend who I am happy to report is still as chill and good to her as I initially predicted years ago. Christine has moved to London after many years in Paris and is excited for her next adventure. Ever since we spent New Years together a few years ago I've wanted to see her and hang out again in person, if only because we can feed off each other's antics for days. My friends mean more to me than most people could ever imagine.
Alright, it's getting late and I should try and get some sleep. I know I've said this too many times, but if you are reading this today, and especially if you have followed this blog since before this post, I want to thank you. I know I have never met any of you in person, but it's a comfort and privilege to know there are some people, even if it is just a few, who enjoy catching up on what in the world that once awkward high school turned college student turned young adult has been up to.
I hope you and your lives have been well.
All the best,
JP
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