Going back to my childhood house is a different experience now compared to even it was during college. Going home felt like a chore to me for a long time. I was too busy having fun with friends, drinking out in the city, or just enjoying something new than to be bothered with trekking back into the familiar and boring suburbs. This time it was different. This time I cleared my schedule and just enjoyed being in the company of family, familiar surroundings, and not having to worry about "what's next?" or "What do you want to do tonight?"
Work the past few weeks has been killing me. I had 10+ hour days most of this last week and the same the week before. Every weekend has been so busy entertaining people in town or throwing parties for friends that I haven't been able to just relax, read, or even sleep soundly. Coming home was my escape, and for the first time in weeks, I actually feel relaxed. I woke up Saturday and made coffee and watched the news. I helped my mom on her Costco run. We cleaned together and enjoyed dinner and catching up. This afternoon I went to my favorite cafe and just read a book for over an hour. It was so nice I felt like I was committing a sin. This whole weekend reminded me of how things used to be, before I had to balance work, maintaining a relationship, and a social life that requires constant travel to and from the city.
It may sound like I'm long for the past, and to an extent, that is true. I think everyone to some extent wishes they could reclaim a time when adult responsibility and earning a paycheck didn't dictate many of your actions. That being said, this weekend made me remember that I always will have somewhere I can turn and escape if I ever need to. I will never be turned down or away from coming back and just spending some time with my family. Heck, I'm sure my mom would love for me to spend even more weekends with her. This weekend also reminds me it's not just okay to get away, but also something that I should do rather than feel awkward about doing.
I'm writing this post on the same couch and probably the same spot when I first conceived of this blog over 8 years ago. This morning I woke up in the same bed, in the same room, which bears the same decorations just as I left it when I went to college almost 7 years ago now. It's unnerving to think how much I and the world has changed these past years, yet so comforting that some things will remain so steady.
All the best,