Ah summer. When the humidity reaches 90%, the sun is unbearable, and I hate driving as my butt burns on my car's leather seats (first world problem, I know). I guess I'm kind of an odd guy when I say that I'm actually not the biggest fan of summer. Give me a nice cool, breezy fall day any day. Nevertheless, this summer is a bit different than my previous summers. Let me explain.
To fully put things in reference, how summer 2013 got its start begins back in January. That's when I began my internship search as you guys heard about way back when. Well, after a long, long process, many interviews, many non-responses, and lots of sleepless nights, I finally got myself an internship in DC for the summer. Basically, the reason why I basically didn't write anything for the past few months is because of this search and also trying to finish off junior year well (which I did!).
So what's making this summer special is that for the first time, ever, really, I have a real job(ish). It's an internship, but basically I'm working Monday through Friday, 9-5:30 at a large and well known non-profit and PAC. I'm working in the marketing department with one other intern. My first day was about two weeks ago and my first full week went well. So far I've met about 2/3 of the interns, another third is starting over the next two weeks. It's a big group of characters which makes things pretty interesting. Considering I have a much more laid back personality than many of the interns, it can make for some quiet personality clashes but it's not really an issue. So far I've been doing lot of research and administrative work but later on once all the interns arrive, there will be more group level projects.
The rest of the summer looks pretty tame for the most part. Mostly finding time to relax on the weekend, chilling with friends in DC, and spending time with Brandon. After how hectic and crazy junior year was with study abroad and school, I really am looking forward to a chill, calm summer.
Sorry for the brevity of this post, but once I get more settled in to a routine, I'm positive I'll have plenty of stories to share from work and the crazy shit that inevitably will happen when you get a couple dozen 20-somethings together to work in DC.
Until then, enjoy the weather and Happy Pride!
-JP
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
I'm Back
Hey guys,
So I've gotten a few emails from people wondering if I was okay and where I had disappeared to. Well, I'm happy to report that I'm alive and well. The reason I was gone for the past month is because I've been basically too busy with school/clubs/internship stuff that I had to put a lot of my more pleasure activities to the back burner, this blog being one of them. Now, however, I'm home, done with my junior year, employed (yay!), and will be filling you guys in on what's been going on in the near future.
Again, thanks for the support and concern for those of you who reached out to me, I really appreciate it. I hope to get this blog up and running again now that it's summer.
All the best,
JP
So I've gotten a few emails from people wondering if I was okay and where I had disappeared to. Well, I'm happy to report that I'm alive and well. The reason I was gone for the past month is because I've been basically too busy with school/clubs/internship stuff that I had to put a lot of my more pleasure activities to the back burner, this blog being one of them. Now, however, I'm home, done with my junior year, employed (yay!), and will be filling you guys in on what's been going on in the near future.
Again, thanks for the support and concern for those of you who reached out to me, I really appreciate it. I hope to get this blog up and running again now that it's summer.
All the best,
JP
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Not Gay Enough
I have an issue with the LGBT group on campus. It's not about the messages they are trying to send or the efforts they undertake to make LGBT issues on campus more visible, it's how they go about doing it.
I was recently elected to the board of my school's LGBT organization and almost immediately I felt tension between myself and the rest of the members. I tried to keep it as internalized as I could, and so far I hope I've done it well. After today however, I am beginning to question just how long I will be able to do so. Let me explain.
In all honesty, I feel the LGBT organization here at my school does a poor job of representing the gay community on campus. The board members, as nice and well intentioned as they are, represent only the most extreme of the socially and stereotypically "gay" community. This is where I feel out of place and at odds against the rest of the board. Yes, I am obviously gay, but I'm also not very "gay acting" in the stereotypical sense. So while the rest of the board is singing, going out to a drag show brunch in DC, buying wigs, and being well...really gay, I'm feeling not only excluded and unable to identify with what they seem to enjoy, but even uncomfortable.
For me, being gay is the part of me which regards my sexual preference towards men, not necessarily how I act, my music preferences, going out habits, or something else. So while I'm happy chilling with my roommates, being involved with the grilling club, and even tossing around the word "bro" and "man" now and then, my fellow board mates, I feel, seem to view what I do with an air of curiosity and even disapproval. Quite honestly, I don't feel gay enough to be part of the organization at the level at which I am now obligated to be in.
A fellow member made a comment a week ago which struck me as both odd and even slightly offensive. We were discussing casually how some event turnout is low, and he casually said:
"Those gays who conform to the straight norm, I hate them"
For being a group so concerned with equality and the right to self expression, I found this off handed remark to be both shocking and disappointing. By saying that, I felt like he was implying that being "straight acting" or even just not being like him, an out and somewhat flamboyant gay man, was wrong. While I didn't address the issue then and there, I found myself angry later on because I identified with that group he had just expressed hatred towards. By no means am I "conforming" to anything. I do what I do and act how I act because that is what I'm comfortable doing. I am not putting on a show, literally "acting" like a straight male, because I feel pressured to do so; I act "straight" because that is just how I naturally act. I'm gay because I like guys, not because I have to act a certain way.
Getting back to the point, the LGBT organization I feel is a poor representation of what I feel the LGBT community at my school is. Gay students at my school range from the gayest, most flamboyant of men and the butchest of lesbians to the most ordinary and "straight acting" men and women. Upcoming events, including the annual drag dance, are proposed to be advertised with drag queens riding on the back of a golf cart and lots of rainbow flags and glitter. In addition, all of this is to be done during an accepted students weekend, where high school seniors ill be visiting campus and deciding if they want to come to my school or not. I feel this plan is a horrible idea and I wish I had the courage to speak up at the time to voice my objection to this. Not only does it send the wrong message that being "gay" at my school is only about the aforementioned things, but it only reinforces the stereotypes about the LGBT community on a camps which is already not the most gay friendly in the world. I'm actually worried that some bright prospective students could be scared off if they saw that.
With events like these and the means by which they are being publicised, I feel like it's my duty to bring some balance to the club and be the voice of a group that is often ignored. While the other board members are too preoccupied with gay power, rainbows, and glitter bombing people (yes, it was an actual comment/suggestion made), I feel like I need to be the voice that speaks up and explains maybe why a large portion of the LGBT community feel alienated by the club's activities. Maybe if they get the message that people might actually be uncomfortable by what they are doing by being the voice and face of the LGBT community, they might recognize why event attendance is so low. There are many faces to being gay, and right now, only a very small handful are being shown by the club. This has been a reason told to me by a few of my gay friends as to why they don't show up at club sponsored events, because they think an affiliation between them and the club is undesirable.
Next week, I hope to open a discussion during our weekly board meeting and address some of these issues. As the club is supposed to be about inclusion and bringing the voice of LGBT students and issues to the university community, I feel that it is time that the club be brought more towards the center of the gay spectrum. The clubs needs to project an image that says yes, it's OK to be gay and like sports and that it is just as OK to be gay and enjoy going to drag shows every weekend. Maybe, hopefully, the club could then grow and be a student organization that all LGBT individuals could be proud to say they're a member of and willingly attend events of, rather than the small, consistent group now that exists now.
JP
I was recently elected to the board of my school's LGBT organization and almost immediately I felt tension between myself and the rest of the members. I tried to keep it as internalized as I could, and so far I hope I've done it well. After today however, I am beginning to question just how long I will be able to do so. Let me explain.
In all honesty, I feel the LGBT organization here at my school does a poor job of representing the gay community on campus. The board members, as nice and well intentioned as they are, represent only the most extreme of the socially and stereotypically "gay" community. This is where I feel out of place and at odds against the rest of the board. Yes, I am obviously gay, but I'm also not very "gay acting" in the stereotypical sense. So while the rest of the board is singing, going out to a drag show brunch in DC, buying wigs, and being well...really gay, I'm feeling not only excluded and unable to identify with what they seem to enjoy, but even uncomfortable.
For me, being gay is the part of me which regards my sexual preference towards men, not necessarily how I act, my music preferences, going out habits, or something else. So while I'm happy chilling with my roommates, being involved with the grilling club, and even tossing around the word "bro" and "man" now and then, my fellow board mates, I feel, seem to view what I do with an air of curiosity and even disapproval. Quite honestly, I don't feel gay enough to be part of the organization at the level at which I am now obligated to be in.
A fellow member made a comment a week ago which struck me as both odd and even slightly offensive. We were discussing casually how some event turnout is low, and he casually said:
"Those gays who conform to the straight norm, I hate them"
For being a group so concerned with equality and the right to self expression, I found this off handed remark to be both shocking and disappointing. By saying that, I felt like he was implying that being "straight acting" or even just not being like him, an out and somewhat flamboyant gay man, was wrong. While I didn't address the issue then and there, I found myself angry later on because I identified with that group he had just expressed hatred towards. By no means am I "conforming" to anything. I do what I do and act how I act because that is what I'm comfortable doing. I am not putting on a show, literally "acting" like a straight male, because I feel pressured to do so; I act "straight" because that is just how I naturally act. I'm gay because I like guys, not because I have to act a certain way.
Getting back to the point, the LGBT organization I feel is a poor representation of what I feel the LGBT community at my school is. Gay students at my school range from the gayest, most flamboyant of men and the butchest of lesbians to the most ordinary and "straight acting" men and women. Upcoming events, including the annual drag dance, are proposed to be advertised with drag queens riding on the back of a golf cart and lots of rainbow flags and glitter. In addition, all of this is to be done during an accepted students weekend, where high school seniors ill be visiting campus and deciding if they want to come to my school or not. I feel this plan is a horrible idea and I wish I had the courage to speak up at the time to voice my objection to this. Not only does it send the wrong message that being "gay" at my school is only about the aforementioned things, but it only reinforces the stereotypes about the LGBT community on a camps which is already not the most gay friendly in the world. I'm actually worried that some bright prospective students could be scared off if they saw that.
With events like these and the means by which they are being publicised, I feel like it's my duty to bring some balance to the club and be the voice of a group that is often ignored. While the other board members are too preoccupied with gay power, rainbows, and glitter bombing people (yes, it was an actual comment/suggestion made), I feel like I need to be the voice that speaks up and explains maybe why a large portion of the LGBT community feel alienated by the club's activities. Maybe if they get the message that people might actually be uncomfortable by what they are doing by being the voice and face of the LGBT community, they might recognize why event attendance is so low. There are many faces to being gay, and right now, only a very small handful are being shown by the club. This has been a reason told to me by a few of my gay friends as to why they don't show up at club sponsored events, because they think an affiliation between them and the club is undesirable.
Next week, I hope to open a discussion during our weekly board meeting and address some of these issues. As the club is supposed to be about inclusion and bringing the voice of LGBT students and issues to the university community, I feel that it is time that the club be brought more towards the center of the gay spectrum. The clubs needs to project an image that says yes, it's OK to be gay and like sports and that it is just as OK to be gay and enjoy going to drag shows every weekend. Maybe, hopefully, the club could then grow and be a student organization that all LGBT individuals could be proud to say they're a member of and willingly attend events of, rather than the small, consistent group now that exists now.
JP
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Forget
I do it all to forget.
I drink because I want to forget.
I run because I want to forget.
I work out because I want to forget.
I cook because I want to forget.
I feel trapped. Behind the smiles and light conversation, we all know we're fighting against each other for that one job, that one position, that one moment of acknowledgement that you did something right for once.
I miss feeling like I'm in control of things. I miss having that close knit group that I can always rely on. I miss the way things were.
I drink because I want to forget.
I run because I want to forget.
I work out because I want to forget.
I cook because I want to forget.
I feel trapped. Behind the smiles and light conversation, we all know we're fighting against each other for that one job, that one position, that one moment of acknowledgement that you did something right for once.
I miss feeling like I'm in control of things. I miss having that close knit group that I can always rely on. I miss the way things were.
Monday, March 18, 2013
To a Friend.
I love you more than you will ever know.
You've been there for me through my darkest times and in my happiest moments.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile.
You make me realize that there are still good people in this world.
I am so lucky to have met you all those years ago.
We've had our moments,
Moments were we didn't always get along,
But we always got through them and our bond got stronger.
Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I didn't meet you,
And it scares me to think about who I might have ended up being today if it weren't for your influence.
But I did meet you, and I'm glad.
So when we're old and wrinkly
And have more stories to tell than any library in the world could ever contain,
We'll still be laughing
and smiling
and talking about all the crazy shit we've done.
And even if we don't adopt an Asian baby together
it will be fine,
Because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You're my soul mate.
I love you forever and always.
You've been there for me through my darkest times and in my happiest moments.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile.
You make me realize that there are still good people in this world.
I am so lucky to have met you all those years ago.
We've had our moments,
Moments were we didn't always get along,
But we always got through them and our bond got stronger.
Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I didn't meet you,
And it scares me to think about who I might have ended up being today if it weren't for your influence.
But I did meet you, and I'm glad.
So when we're old and wrinkly
And have more stories to tell than any library in the world could ever contain,
We'll still be laughing
and smiling
and talking about all the crazy shit we've done.
And even if we don't adopt an Asian baby together
it will be fine,
Because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
You're my soul mate.
I love you forever and always.
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