Monday, March 24, 2014

Jealousy/Awe

Sometimes I'm jealous of everything he does. His passion and love for everything he is involved in makes me feel inadequate...

...but that just drives me to push myself harder, to pursue what makes me happy and make myself the best I can be at that craft. It feels odd at times to realize that I say that I desire someone that does things and has passions that differ from mine, yet once I'm with someone who has those qualities, I'm stuck with a feeling that can only be described as the on the border of jealousy and awe. But I guess I just need to work on realizing that I shouldn't be jealous about something just because he can do it while I can't. Sure, I wish I could dance better, lift more, or have the joie de vivre he can display in a heartbeat, but I'm also not going to be someone I'm not.

In some ways, though, I'm still the cooking loving, car crazed, pseudo French speaking, hopeless romantic that I was when I first started this blog now nearly five years ago. It was that dorky and semi awkward wannabe bro he was attracted to when he met me, and he is the sexy, brilliant, and caring stud I fell for. We share enough interests to make things between us real and have enough differences to prove our relationship is not just fleeting. 

He's.....special.

-JP