Leave Me Alone!

The guy I hooked up with last night won't stop texting me and it's really starting to annoy me. I don't need a constant stream of texts asking what I'm up to, what my plans are for the night and descriptions of how you're obviously horny.  I have work, I have a life, and I have responsibilities. Worse yet, this has been going on since I gave him my number a week ago. He's seriously acting like a lost puppy right now just following me via my phone wanting to know every detail of my life. I don't want to tell him to back off but I feel I'll probably have to soon if this keeps up.

I get it if you want to hook up again, but it's no fun if you're doing it every day. Yes, I'm looking for a relationship, but you, sir, are not the kind of guy I'm interested in. Also, as long as I'm looking and have people in my sights (aka adorkable freshman from theatre and this other freshman from the grilling club I'm in), I'd rather have spontaneous hot hookups rather than banal regular ones. I mean, I don't know about you but meeting a really hot guy and then find out you're hitting it off with him is pretty sick, whatever happens afterwards is just icing on the cake.

Yes, it does feel nice to be wanted, but sometimes that goes overboard like this situation is currently spiraling towards.

Damn, I can't believe I'm saying this but I don't want a fuck buddy. I won't be a slave to my dick, at least most of the time....

All the best,

JP

My Saturday

-Up at 10-Breakfast, the dining hall actually had halfway decent food!?
-Did some microeconomics homework
-Bought a corkscrew on Amazon
-Went to the gym for an hour, set a new record 15 minute piece pace for myself - 2:02.1/500m.
-Production Staff meeting for the theatre production I'm doing publicity for, boring as ever
-Ordered dinner in with my friend Jacki, we watch The Princess and the Frog on Netflix while we eat
-Work until 11PM, I finish German and start laying the groundwork for my Philosophy paper
-Watch SNL with friends at another dorm
-Guy whose been trying to meet up me texts me, my roommate is out
-We mess around for a while and then he leaves
-I realize I have two massive hickies
-I text all my close female friends to find concealer, I have so many meetings tomorrow
-My friend Jacki teases me nonstop about this and then tells me she doesn't have any concealer
-My friend Eun texts back saying she does have some
-Get grilled about who it was, I refuse to answer
-Work on Philosophy paper some more
-Now I'm in bed.

Yeah, essentially this past week has been my hell week but now I'm finally free (sorta) but this upcoming week also looks to be pretty bad. Welcome back to school eh?

Oh, and belated hooray for the end of DADT!

All the best,

JP

Video: Coming Out in the Military

This is probably the sweetest thing I've seen in weeks. This soldier is calling home to come out to his dad.

This guy just earned champ status in my books.

Cradle Robber

I was voted most likley to be a cradle robber this year by a group of my friends. Funny thing is, I do have my eyes on a freshman who's in the theater production I'm doing publicity for. He's cute, kinda dorky and fun to talk to. We'll see where this goes.....

Sad thing is, German and Managerial Accounting have been eating up so much of my time I don't even know if I'll have enough of a social life in the near future to even make something happen. Ugh. Anyways, doesn't the fact that I'm younger than MANY of the freshmen make the whole cradle-robber label null and void?

Lol #2

From my friend Maria's Tumblr


Gentlemen, I expect the same.

Fighting Myself

Was there not enough pain and frustration the first time round that I seem to unconsciously feel the need to seek the one feeling I dread the most? It's been over a year now. Over a year since I began my college life where people, many of whom are now my friends, first entered my life and exposed me to a world with levels of acheivement and brilliance that I never once thought were possible apart from in a work of fiction....

It's the ludicrous levels of imagination, such profound creativity and deep, analytical thought that the trivial squeaks about the topic of the day pouring out of my mouth seem more like baby babble rather than coherent thoughts. There are people, friends with skills and knowledge that far surpass mine and go to the point where they understate their abilities on resumes and job applications to make them seem more human. I like to tell myself that comparing my abilities and views to them and theirs is wasteful. Time better spent would be on Microeconomics, Managerial Accounting or whatever other "useful" class that will one day earn me more money (because we all know that's what people in business care about...) I should just sit at my desk and read. Why waste time comparing myself to someone who is simply better?

When I started my freshman year, I knew that I would be entering a different world, one where "top of the heap" now meant "middle of the road". I felt lost in a pool of hundreds, all who fought for their spot to attend this school and got in with merits equal or probably better than mine. After my crisis last year about this very same problem I'm facing now, I felt that I finally made amends with myself. I accepted that we all have our own skills that make us better at something compared to our peers. It sounded childish then, like something my kindergarden teacher would tell me when Ben over there would colour within the lines better than I could, and it still sounds lubby dubby now.

It's only mid September, I just turned 19 and I still have so much ahead of me. Do I have to do what I did last year and just keep telling myself "It's Okay" when I know that deep down I will always have some nagging feeling whenever that someone passes by me on the way to class, reminding me "you're only average"? I don't want to be average. I will not settle for average. I don't want a Hershey's Bar when a Godiva truffle is right next to it. I don't want a Camry or Accord when I can have an E-Class or S80. I want to find that fighting spirit I once had when I knew I was close to the top just a handful of years ago. I don't think I lost it; I just tucked it away, something I regret doing. That fighting spirit got me here in the first place, if I can get it back, maybe I can do it again.

Sophomore Year: It's on.

Birthday

19 never felt so good

Awkward....

So I found out one of the guys I've been talking to on Grindr is actually one of my friends. I know without a doubt it's him and he knows the guy he's been talking with is me. I'm not terribly surprised this guy was into guys in retrospect but he's really closeted and I think he might be really freaked out right now that I found out in the way I did.

We haven't spoken since this incident occured a few hours ago.

This is awkward....

Week 1

Sup Guys! I realize it's been a while since I last wrote but I've been a bit too busy to keep up with writing here but I finally found some. Let's catch up:

First week of classes: I met all my professors and I'm optimistic about this semester. Most of my professors seem pretty chill. I know they were probably trying to be all personable and funny but there's a surprising amount of young blood (comparatively speaking) in the staff. My Managerial Accounting professor is a really chill guy; it's his first year teaching and he cracked his fair share of jokes. The only thing which was kinda funny to me was that his suit was a size or two too big and looked kind of odd on him haha. My microeconomics class is my first true lecture style class. Before this year, the biggest class I was in had about 80 people (ethics this past Spring) and this time it's about 300. German is interesting to say the least; one of my classmates, a freshman, went to a school really close to mine in VA which was a nice surprise. Otherwise, it's staring from scratch for me, almost nothing transfers from my French classes in high school so finding out what all the umlauts and what "ß" sound like. It's pretty cool though; the professor is this young guy who's really in touch with us.

Welcome Week: This first week has been pretty much one giant last bash before classes take over our lives. The Student Activities fair was held yesterday on the front lawn and I joined the Grilling Society and the International Relations Club. I still think I'm going to continue with tutoring and also with the campus Pride organization as well. I don't know if I'm going to pursue a job this time around. The Grilling Society sets up a stand every Friday and sells burgers on one of the Plazas. I don't have classes Friday (apart from an Econ recitation for 45 minutes) so I'm going to dedicate myself to getting in to the crowd. It's really a get yourself known and help out until they like you and then they might promote you to "grillmaster". I already talked to a bunch of the members and the President of the club so I'm on my way I hope.

Fun: I've been going out almost non stop this past weekend but I think that's the point for the first week back. Friday I went to see Don't be Afraid of the Dark with a few of the guys; it wasn't particularly scary but was creepy enough and it made me jump a few times. I love Guillermo del Toro's work though and there were so many Pan's Labyrinth similarities too (favorite movie ever, stream it if you can) Saturday was the midnight fair on the front lawn, I rode a mechanical bull for the first time (fail) and bumped myself up on a few obstacle courses (double fail) but it was really fun in a stumbling-around-drunk and having stuff to climb on way. Last night was the IRC kickoff and welcome party as well. There were a ton of freshmen still on their "I'm in college" high but after a while it cleared out to being mostly upperclassmen. We were at an apartment for a while before eventually ending up at a townhouse around 1:30. Overall, good night.

Today is mostly a catch-up on work day. I worked on German homework for almost two hours and I still need to get some reading done for other classes but I'll probably do most of it tonight. I only have one class tomorrow anyways so I have more time if I need it. I'm also trying to stick with my summer workout program so I'm aiming to keep with going to the gym four or five days a week. I want to put on about three more pounds before I level off and just maintain. The only sad thing now is that looking on the workout memories of the ergs I'm so fucking slow compared to the varsity crew guys it's kinda depressing.


Still better than this guy though....

Alright, that's a decent enough recap of what's been going on. I'll try to start writing more often/regularly and talk about more interesting topics again. Also, there's a new blog I'm following here that I think you guys will find interesting so check him out. He's a freshman tennis player which is pretty cool since I'm thinking of picking up tennis in addition to boxing with my friend Alex soon. Go check him out.

All the best,

JP